Wedding Blues - Enimen & Sele

June 12 is a day synonumous with the struggle for Democracy, here in Nigeria.

However on this June 12, 2010, it was a day for the Celebration of the love between Enimen Etomi & Sele Inegbedion.





Was a FANTASTIC wedding!! All my Usual Suspects were there..


Toni Tones was one of the Official Wedding Photographers..she works SUPER hard as you can see..


Osaru Alile..rocking her HOOOTTTT new haircut!!


Chiamaka Ezenwa


Ijeoma Chiori


Seun Opaleye


Toni Tones


Seun Opaleye & Tomi Ajibola

The couple danced and danced so much that I soon felt very sorry them..



But relief came for them soon as the party was hijacked..











I loved these delicous array of cupcakes..




Me & Tones


Moi

I drink to a Beautiful marriage rooted in Love and true Friendship for Enimen & Sele.

5 Most Likely Places to Find a Boyfriend in Lagos

First of all, let me outline the qualifications that make me an authority on this subject:

• In this past weekend alone, a total of 4 days, I met 5 great, and I do mean gr-eeaaatt guys, who could make an ideal boyfriend for any girl with good quality taste in men!!

• If you read my ‘Nabbed for Relationship Identity Theft’ column on 360Nobs, you would understand that one of the primary causes of the somewhat dysfunctionalities of some areas in my life, is as a result of having had TOO many boyfriends!! So finding a boyfriend is not really a problem for me, but keeping myself sane with them is more the issue.

• Finally, I have an in-built compass that steers me in whatever direction where there are good-looking, fun-to-be-around, decent men.

So having qualified myself as an Authority on the subject, I shall proceed to give you the JUICE:

1. Fast Foodies: Yes, you heard me right. Men are very solution-oriented unlike us women who can dance around the emotional aspect of an issue for years. So a hungry man is not going to start dilly-dallying about what he wants to eat, but will dash into the nearest fast-food place to get a meal. This includes Pizza Parlours, Shawarma locations and co. where they have to sit and wait a few minutes before their order is ready. I tried and tested this on Sunday after church when I went for a pizza. I saw a nice-looking guy sitting all by himself and went over to ask if I could sit with him. It didn’t take me 2mins of talking to him to see that he was someone worth seeing again!! Pity I was just looking for great Pizza and not a boyfriend..


Yuuummmmyy...

2. Adrenalin Arenas: Most men looovvee to compete; they literally become like little boys all over again as they try to win that race, or outshine a friend..especially when there are girls watching. Again this weekend, I discovered that one of the best places to find a boyfriend in Lagos is at the Adrenaline Arenas. Try Go-karting, Basketball courts, Soccer pitches and Bowling. It was at the Go-karting arena on Saturday that I saw one of the most attractive men I’ve ever set my eyes on. He was sooo attractive that I spotted him from miles away and reported his presence to my girlfriend. While walking out, he happened to be in my way, so I thought ‘What the heck, I might as well introduce myself’. I did and he soon wanted digits, which I gave. Never hurts to make a new friend..even though I suspect him to be like 12!!

3. Cinemas: This may sound cliché for going on a date, but it is a definite Man-hunt Zone. There are tons of guys in Lagos who are very quiet and don’t like to announce themselves. These guys have few things that excite them, ranging from Comic books, Japanese cartoons and even Sci-fi/Action movies. So they’d go to the cinema alone to watch that new Sci-fi flick they’ve probably been waiting to be released since January. He would sit at the far back, in the darkest section, so he can’t be seen or bothered by anyone..except maybe the strange witty girl at the back who makes him laugh during the movie and ends up being his unofficial date. Trust me; I have guy friends that fit this category who it has happened to. You can be that girl!! (wink n nod)



4. Libraries/Book-Shops: Being a book lover, I often go to Book shops alone and randomly select books which I sit and read there. You wouldn’t believe the traffic of smart, artsy, intelligent and interesting guys that pass me by whilst I’m there.

5. Coffee Shops/ Bars: Before I got an office, I used to work out of Coffee Shops and Bars. I would literally resume there in the mornings and close in the evenings. If not that I was too focused on my work to care, the amount of guys that resumed and closed with me would not have allowed me to do my work well. They are mostly guys in the Arts, Entertainment or basically Business men who don’t have an office yet so come to get work done and have meetings in these places. So girls without jobs, instead of sitting your butt at home and watching Africa Magic Yoruba (lol), get out there with your laptop and look Work Fabulous while you pretend you don’t notice all those guys staring!!

This is all for now. I’ll try to think up some more and share. Remember it’s all about knowing the demo/psychographic of the man you want and then just ‘happening’ to Be where he can find you.

P.S: If you want details of some names of the places you can visit, send me a personal mail on tariekiyor@hotmail.com

As usual, your views are always welcome…

Wife Material OR Glorified Housegirl?

Gone are the days when you ‘court’ (gosh..that word!!) a young virgin and she’s never left alone with the suitor or even husband-to-be, let alone, see the inside of his home.

Today, as I’m sure you are aware, the average girl in a relationship believes that if she doesn’t fully move in, or set up monuments of herself in the guy’s home, she is setting herself up for a major takeover by a sharper babe.

So the novelty of leaving your own home to move into your husband’s after the wedding, has been completely (please prove me wrong!) lost in our 21st Century Relationships.

In that kind of situation, the girl may often find herself in a position where she has to cook, clean, and basically take up all duties regarding the maintenance of both the man and his home. Note that in some or most cases, there may or may not be a ring on her very tired and dusty fingers as she strives to put even a seasoned housewife to shame, by the intensity in her efforts.

The motivation for her, as she de-glamourises herself in the guy’s kitchen or while washing his boxers, is the voice in her head that keeps repeating, “He will see how much of a wife-material you are and know that he can’t afford to let you go”.

So she scrubs even harder or strives to cook much better.

Alright I’ll just shut up and go straight to the point: Is there a limit in a pre-marriage relationship to how much of herself a girl should give/show a guy?

At what point does it become a ‘See-finish’ situation?

For as long as a guy has not paid a bride price or said an “I do”, should a girl even lift a finger to do any form of manual labor in his home?

Is an un-married girl who breaks her back to cater for a guy in his home a Wife Material OR just a Glorified Housegirl??!!

Over to you...and guys, feel free to share your side of the fence..

Wedding Blues

I'm not really a fan of weddings, but I couldn't miss my friend, Enitan Akingbade's, wedding for the world!!

Not just because we've been breaking rules together since Queens' College, but also because after being already married with 2 kids to her husband, they decided to come back to Lagos and do it in the proper Yoruba owambe way!!

So we did the Hen Night and all (which was mad fun!!) and also the wedding. Here are some picturesfrom the wedding...


Enitan & Tokunbo Akingbade



..put a ROCK on it meehhhnnnnn...


..now where do I start from..


Moi, Enitan & Seun Opaleye

My Sweet 26 First Date

This may sound weird, I mean like really, really George Bush wearing iro and buba kind of weird, but I just have to say it….

I went for my first proper date on Saturday!!!

26 and three-quarters years old, been in like 800 relationships, and yet never been on a proper, proper date!! I mean the kind when you meet a guy, give him your number, he asks you out, you agree, you leave him to plan where he’s taking you, he comes to get you, you get into the car...and yeah all proper first date protocol.

I was super-excited on Saturday morning and was hopping all over the place singing “I’m going on a date!!” I felt like I was 14years old and being allowed out with a boy for the first time. Even the matter of life and death decision of what to wear on a first date couldn’t dampen my enthusiasm.

I thought of wearing a short, white dress, in my usual Lagos weekend style, but ditched the idea….didn’t want him to be on a date with my legs instead of me.

Go simple in Skinny jeans and a baby-tee?! Nope...might make him feel just a little too comfortable like we’re already together or something.

So I finally decided on a white vest and dark brown, mid-calf length baggy corduroy pants. Better to look like ass-kicking Lara Croft of Tombraider on a first date than an Ijaw version of Marilyn Monroe.


Angelina Jolie in her 'Lara Croft' persona

I kept him waiting for like 8mins (not good enough yeah?!) while I got ready. It felt damn good keeping him waiting, knowing that he wouldn’t dare complain about it and spoil the Mr Nice Guy persona that he has to have to keep the game going.

He took me to see ‘Date Night’, which was the mid-afternoon special at the cinema. And yes tried the whole putting the arm around me thing in the dark theater. I almost exploded as I tried desperately not to burst out in laughter. My goodness!! I couldn’t believe that he would actually get up to such a cliché gesture!! Anyway, that didn’t last a minute.

The movie was great…..I laughed hysterically at the antics of two of my most favorite people, Steve Carrell and Tina Fey. And then displayed my silliness by shouting “Whacked Off” loudly complete with the hand gesture and all, after an on-screen joke that I only got like 2minutes after. My date almost disappeared into his chair!!


Steve Carrell & Tina Fey in a scene from the movie

Then I almost choked, as he decided that I needed to be fed popcorn and kept on shoving fistfuls into my mouth. My mouthful mumbling of “I don’t want” definitely wasn’t very well comprehended. In a gasping for air kind of moment, with the next fistful on its way, I finally managed to say a coherent, “Please stop feeding me popcorn!!”

We went for lunch afterwards, where he told me about his recently ended relationship, which by my reckoning might be yet another break in their 5year on and off relationship.

I took him for a huge ice-cream dessert afterwards and then we walked the Beach where I demanded that he call one of those Mobile Rasta Musicians to come play me a special song. He couldn’t believe it and let me know that he wasn’t going to be by my side while that happened. I said it was fine. I called the guy myself and surprisingly, my date stayed right by me and we were soon singing the song together long after the Rastaman had left.

All in all it actually was a very interesting and fun first date. I hope my date feels the same sentiment as he looked kind of sad as I skipped happily into my house after refusing his first-kiss gesture.

So how do you rate my Sweet 26 First Date experience??!! I invite you to do with me what I spend hours with my Terror Squad doing: breaking down every gesture, word and/or action that came from my poor date.

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So Men need Attention too?!

Wouldn’t it have been simply perfect if our 21st Century world of Dating was exactly like in the fairytales where: Guy and girl meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after?

Well, it seems the Modern Woman, who prefers her Jimmy Choos over any glass slipper, would only live in a house with 7 dwarfs if it was a reality TV show that promised $$$ and possibly a diamond ring at the end, and wouldn’t mind a happily-ever-after with a Beast as long as he can boast of a number of them in his beastly garage, is not going to have it that easy.



A stunningly beautiful girl I met recently was sharing her Man troubles with me. She met a very nice-looking guy, very matured for his age and doing extremely well for himself apart from his wealthy father.

They began seeing each other and it seemed like the guy couldn’t believe his luck at finding her. He treated her like a Princess, and within 2 weeks of dating, introduced her to his Mother and all his friends. She couldn’t believe how perfect everything was, seeing that she had been in a number of dysfunctional relationships in the past and for a while had not been seeing anyone.

They shared a beautiful Valentine’s Day together, with him doing the most romantic things for her that you only get to see in the movies.

All of a sudden, 10 phone calls a day reduced to 2!! Constant Blackberry chatting became her sending a message that would go unreplied by him until hours later….if she even got any response at all. She was dismayed and soon confronted him about his sudden change in behavior, he explained to her that he was under a lot of work pressure, but everything’s fine.

She couldn’t handle the drastic change in the dynamics of their relationship and so began complaining a lot, snapping at him, and demanding more from him.

With the benefit of objectivity, I could see that this pushed the guy even farther away from her, leaving her angry, confused and certain that all guys are truly Bastards!!

That was her state of mind when we met and got talking. I asked her to tell me in detail what his responses were whenever she asked why he wasn’t showing her as much attention. She honestly revealed that he was a very peaceful and easygoing person, and had told her that she had been ‘fighting’ him a lot and he really could not handle that.




As we talked more, she realized that she had been ‘fighting’ him because of her fears and insecurities. Instead of trying to understand that he probably was actually going through a difficult time at work, all she could see was how it affected HER. It became all about “You’re not calling ME as much anymore”, “You’re not paying ME as much attention anymore”.

It doesn’t make her a bad person; it just seems we girls are wired that way. From talking to her and a similar experience I’ve had in the past, I realize that guys actually do also need a lot of attention!!

Attention can come in different ways; understanding, being patient with them…..eerrrr (alright please help me out here!!)

From all she told me about the guy, he actually seemed like a really good guy who genuinely cared for her. I sincerely do hope it works out for them as she tries to focus on loving him rather than being obsessed with how he isn’t loving her.

How long does it take a Guy to know if she's 'The One'??

Heeeyyyy, Happy belated Valentine’s Day!!

I wonder if there’s a rating system to determine whether the world actually becomes more loving after Valentine’s Day. Maybe I should start that…you never know it may be my answer to Google or Facebook, and the next thing you know you’d be like “she was just some girl who used talk s**t on some blog with a weird name and now she’s worth like $40billion!!!”

Over a lazy alfresco (outdoor for those of you going ‘HUH??’) dinner of drinks and suya with a close male friend, who was going to ditch me soon to go catch his romantic Valentine’s Day movie (ironically called Valentine’s Day!!) with his date, we reached the life changing conclusion that Valentine is simply Overrated!!

We also got talking about a mutual friend of ours who recently got engaged. He was asking me how long she’s been with her fiancé for and I replied that they’ve only been dating for less than 5months. Actually he proposed to her 3months after they started dating!!

Her experience has even been tagged the ‘3month Anointing’ within us girls!!

The conversation after I revealed that went thus:

Guy friend: “Wow!! 3 months!! That’s short…

Me: “Short ke? The guy is a Bad guy I love him!! He knew exactly what he wanted and he didn’t waste any time locking it down!! It takes a guy about 3months to know whether or not he wants to spend his life with a girl he’s with or not!”

Guy friend: “3months Tari?! It takes less than a month!!

There you have it…from the mouth of one stallion!! But that is just one opinion, what do you think?!