Wouldn’t it have been simply perfect if our 21st Century world of Dating was exactly like in the fairytales where: Guy and girl meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after?
Well, it seems the Modern Woman, who prefers her Jimmy Choos over any glass slipper, would only live in a house with 7 dwarfs if it was a reality TV show that promised $$$ and possibly a diamond ring at the end, and wouldn’t mind a happily-ever-after with a Beast as long as he can boast of a number of them in his beastly garage, is not going to have it that easy.
A stunningly beautiful girl I met recently was sharing her Man troubles with me. She met a very nice-looking guy, very matured for his age and doing extremely well for himself apart from his wealthy father.
They began seeing each other and it seemed like the guy couldn’t believe his luck at finding her. He treated her like a Princess, and within 2 weeks of dating, introduced her to his Mother and all his friends. She couldn’t believe how perfect everything was, seeing that she had been in a number of dysfunctional relationships in the past and for a while had not been seeing anyone.
They shared a beautiful Valentine’s Day together, with him doing the most romantic things for her that you only get to see in the movies.
All of a sudden, 10 phone calls a day reduced to 2!! Constant Blackberry chatting became her sending a message that would go unreplied by him until hours later….if she even got any response at all. She was dismayed and soon confronted him about his sudden change in behavior, he explained to her that he was under a lot of work pressure, but everything’s fine.
She couldn’t handle the drastic change in the dynamics of their relationship and so began complaining a lot, snapping at him, and demanding more from him.
With the benefit of objectivity, I could see that this pushed the guy even farther away from her, leaving her angry, confused and certain that all guys are truly Bastards!!
That was her state of mind when we met and got talking. I asked her to tell me in detail what his responses were whenever she asked why he wasn’t showing her as much attention. She honestly revealed that he was a very peaceful and easygoing person, and had told her that she had been ‘fighting’ him a lot and he really could not handle that.
As we talked more, she realized that she had been ‘fighting’ him because of her fears and insecurities. Instead of trying to understand that he probably was actually going through a difficult time at work, all she could see was how it affected HER. It became all about “You’re not calling ME as much anymore”, “You’re not paying ME as much attention anymore”.
It doesn’t make her a bad person; it just seems we girls are wired that way. From talking to her and a similar experience I’ve had in the past, I realize that guys actually do also need a lot of attention!!
Attention can come in different ways; understanding, being patient with them…..eerrrr (alright please help me out here!!)
From all she told me about the guy, he actually seemed like a really good guy who genuinely cared for her. I sincerely do hope it works out for them as she tries to focus on loving him rather than being obsessed with how he isn’t loving her.
6 years ago