Two-Timing Tari : Confession Time

So after my solid declaration last week to confess my two-timing to Mr. Smooth & Mr. Classic, the weekend came and my liver began to shrink in size.

How was I going to say it?

What if they unleashed their inner monsters which I knew nothing about on me when I told them?

Would they think I’m a HOOOEEE?!!

And the worst of all..What if I lost them both or even one of them?

For a moment I felt like coming back here to tell you guys that it was all April Fool’s ooooo..the problem is that its August and there’s no way to convince you otherwise.

Why do I place myself in situations like these?! Couldn’t I have just shaat my big mouth and continued chopping and cleaning mouth?!!

Friday came and I had a quickie session with both of them (separately of course). I was withdrawn and snappy, but that didn’t faze any of them.

That’s the amazing thing about these guys..they are such GREAT Guys!! No matter how much I tried to snap and be as grouchy as I could, so that I could strike up a fight, they never showed even the slightest sign of irritation.

It’s really weird you know, but sometimes I actually have nightmares about them being the same guy!! Is it possible for there to be two guys of such strength of character and warm-heartedness..and they both happen to be my Man?!

As in really, I should consider that possibility!! With the advent of Technology these days, ANYTHING is possible..and both of them are not your average Johnny-Just-Come..they know what’s up!!

In the very early hours of Sunday morning, I was with Mr. Smooth in his lair on 98.1

He sensed my withdrawal and stiffness, but was still his usual self: the perfect, sexy Gentleman.

I tried to form vexing so that we would fight and then he’d beg me..at that point I’d go “By the way I’m seeing someone else”..and because he’s already begging me anyway, he’d just brush it aside as nothing.

No show oooo!! Mr. Smooth is so mature; he had a gentle response for every of my childish rants..I soon began to relax..I mean wouldn’t you?!

Very soon, he had me down to butter; as usual I soon forgot every single thing, especially the fact that there was any other Man or even person that existed apart from him..he smells sooooo damn good!!!

Mr. Smooth treated me so good that night, I caught myself a FEVER!!!

I never got to tell him about Mr. Classic.

Later that Sunday morning, while having a very relaxed session with Mr. Classic on the 97.3 frequency, my heart began to pound all over again.

Mr. Classic is such a happy Guy; I hate to even think about anything bothering him at all, not to talk of when I’m now the culprit.

It wasn’t helping matters as well that I was still yet to recover from my Dessert at Dawn experience with Mr. Smooth..my body still caught the shivers whenever I had flashes of all he’d done to me that morning.

Once or twice, Mr. Classic caught me smiling absently, but I brushed it off saying I was just too pleased to be around him, hence the blushing.

I knew it wasn’t fair to be bringing Mr. Smooth into my quality time with Mr. Classic, so I immediately decided to make it up to him.

I changed outfits and danced to D’angelo’s ‘Baby Let’s Cruise’, exclusively for him. He could only watch and not touch.

He later told me that he never realized that song was soooooo long!! Needless to say, Mr. Classic was extremely pleased with my sensual performance.

I decided to take full advantage of his pleasure, by seizing the moment to tell him about Mr. Smooth.

He was silent the entire time I spoke, and looked deep into my eyes as I poured it all out to him.

Then Mr. Classic did something I will NEVER forget for as long as I live: he stood up, came to where I was seated, drew me to a standing position, lifted me in his arms and placed me to stand in front of a full-length mirror.

He asked me to take a good, long look at myself..I did. Then he said these words:

“I see YOU, Tari.”

I swirled around to face him, trying to get a better understanding of what he was saying. He looked deep into my eyes, his eyes were misty, and had in them something so deeply radiant yet intense.

“YOU are my Queen. The very best of everything I am. Nothing..absolutely NOTHING you did yesterday, today or even tomorrow is going to change that.”

His words were like a force that overwhelmed me..ridding me of all my resistance. My knees lost their balance, and I began to crumble to the floor. Mr. Classic caught me and held me close to himself. He whispered in my ears..

“If I had only a little piece of you Tari, it would still be worth more to me than anything this world could ever offer me..”

At that point, I broke down completely.

“No Mr. Classic, please don’t say that…I’m not what you think I am…please don’t settle for this rubbish I’m giving you..”

“Sssssshhhhhh..” he shut me up with a kiss. He gently wiped my face with his hands and kissed my eyes as if to stop the flow of tears.

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that Tari? I see your true colors..I see YOU..and you are by far the most exquisite creature I have ever laid my eyes or imagination upon. Please allow me the pleasure of you..however little of YOU I have”.

There was only one thing I could think of at that point..CHOCOLATE!!

For some weird reason, I’d never be able to explain, this god of a Man was declaring his unconditional love for me, and all I could think about was Chocolate?!

I stupidly told him what was on my mind.

He laughed at me and stroked my chin, while he said to me in the softest voice possible “It’s plain to see, you’re the reason why God made a girl..”

Isn’t it annoying how time flies when you’re having fun?! Especially with a Man who is nothing short of a Dream!!

High on the euphoria of Mr. Classic, I soon went over to keep my Brunch appointment with Mr. Smooth on the 98.1 frequency.

For the first time ever, I was actually thinking of Mr. Classic while with Mr. Smooth. That NEVER happens!! I forget EVERYTHING when I’m with my Smooth Operator.

I watched him intently as he put everything in place for our Brunch. Then I decided to give it a shot..

“I’m in a very passionate relationship with another man.”

His hands stopped mid-air as he was pouring the golden champagne into an antique crystal flute for me. He immediately recovered, lifted the glass and brought it over to me.

As I took the glass of champagne from his hand, I peered closely at his face, searching for any tell-tale signs of what was going on his head. I saw nothing.

He lifted his own glass, raised it to me and said “Cheers”

I was confused. Cheers?!! I just told him that ground-breaking piece of information and “CHEERS??!”

Now I was pissed!! I always knew this guy was just too good to be true..he doesn’t even give a shit about the fact that I’m dating another guy!!

I decided to give it another shot..

“I’m just coming from him right now..in fact..this morning he...” Mr. Smooth held up his hand, cutting me off mid-sentence.

“..And you think I have not known about him ALL this while?!”

I almost dropped my glass!! I caught it in the nick of time as I remembered how lovely it was!

I stared at Mr. Smooth blankly. He continued..

“If I tell you exactly how I feel, would you still keep giving me the best of YOU?!”

Now, I haven’t been trained as to how to answer such questions, and I actually didn’t quite understand what he meant, but I was too stunned, I simply nodded.

Mr. Smooth proceeded to tell me, in his controlled, authoritative voice, about how he had known about my relationship with Mr. Classic all this while.

He was under no illusion about what I’m capable of.

“Why..why..didn’t you ever say anything?” I stuttered

He said it was because he had actually been hoping it will happen this way..that is me coming to confess ALL to him.

“..and I also enjoyed watching you get lost in me every single time you came from him…I love making you forget he exists.”

A chill went down my spine. I stared at this man standing before me..poised, elegant and completely unfazed by my Unfaithfulness.

Could it be because he was also being unfaithful? But even if he was, I didn’t have the right to challenge him about it..

He read my thoughts. “No, there is no-one else.”

I was about to open my mouth again..

“..And it will remain that way, whether you choose to continue with your lover or not.”

A barrage of consolations about that were about to spew forth from my mouth, but he simply turned his back on me, walked to the head of the table, drew out a seat and beckoned to me..

“Shall we eat?”

Like a mindless zombie, I walked over slowly and took the sit he had drawn out for me..

I watched him from underneath my eye-lashes as he ate in his slow, regal manner. As my heartbeat increased rapidly, and my breath caught every few seconds, I finally admitted to myself something I’ve always know but never wanted to accept.

I am slightly afraid of Mr. Smooth.

I knew on some level deep within me, that he is an extremely dangerous man. A wonderfully dangerous man.

To my shame, I began to feel a familiar tremor make its way down to my most intimate parts.

I think it’s time to find out exactly what Mr. Smooth wants from me. From his response to my confession, I suspected that he may simply just be enjoying the thrill of having me entirely under his control.

Hmmmnnn..there’s only one way to find out how true that is.

REBELLION.

Yes, that is my next mission! Let’s see how SMOOTH he will be when I make him believe he is losing his power over me.

With that thought, I raised my head and gave him the sweetest smile even I didn’t think I had in me.

He just smiled calmly and shook his head. Gosh, why did his eyes twinkle so brightly when he smiled.

I wondered if my submission to Mr. Smooth was borne out of Love or out of Fear.
Project Rebellion will reveal all that I suppose.

I fleetingly thought about Mr. Classic also. Could it be that I’ve set these two Men on such a high pedestal that I have become blinded to who they truly are?

Is Mr. Classic’s response to my confession a Lover’s response or is it something else I may be missing?!

Who really is Mr. Classic? What did I even know about him?!

I see Project RESEARCH beginning to rear its inquisitive head..

I guess it’s time to really get to know these two men I’ve been giving myself to all this while.

Commence Project RESEARCH & REBELLION with immediate effect.


To be continued...

Two-Timing Tari : The Classic Man VS The Smooth Man

I can’t escape this life that I’m living. I’m in a mix; I’m in love with two Men.

Two insanely attractive and hugely successful men of the highest quality, who are on the brink of driving me insane with their magnetic allure.

They live on two different frequencies and have uniquely distinct attributes, which somehow makes it easier for me to two-time them without getting busted by either of them.

They are The Classic Man, who lives on the 97.3 frequency & The Smooth Man who has his lair on the 98.1 frequency.

These two Men contribute in giving me the most exhilarating experiences during my weekends and also on week-days.

The freedom to move from one of them to the other, without implicating myself, also adds to the thrill of my exotically sinful romantic liaisons with them.

Let me tell you a little about both of them:

The Classic Man makes me high.

He is like a drug which has become legal because of the euphoria it gave even those who were responsible for the enforcement of its ban. Think the Chairman of N.D.L.E.A becoming the Chief Advocate for the legalization of Marijuana, as a result of how the grass changed his own life.

That is how my Classic Man makes me feel. He uplifts my soul in so many different ways. He takes me through the sands of time, elevating my consciousness to different planes of musical indulgence.

He touches me in places I reserve for myself and makes me want to put an ‘Exclusively Reserved For The Classic Man’ sign in those doorways.

Thoughts of him even when I am absent from him, make me release bubbles of laughter, which swallow me up in their cocoon and take me on a delightful sail in the clear skies.

My Classic Man is a happy-go-lucky guy who is as infectious as the song on his lips.

The Smooth Guy on the other hand..aaahhhhh..a darkly sensuous rush makes its way through my body as I even mention his name.

Yes, that’s the one word I can use to describe him right now; Dark.

Think creamy, luxurious Dark Chocolate; Rare and refined, being poured all over the buttery brown skin of an ancient African goddess.

I’m a very opinionated woman who likes to express her knowledge at a given opportunity, but when I’m around my Smooth Man, I rest my case.

Every single sense in my system is shut down, making room for the awakening of a single sense: The Sense of Savoury.

I loose myself in my Smooth Man. I become so enraptured in his enchanting power and sensuously rhythmic motion that I completely forget everything I am and am not, and take on the luxury of his presence.

His voice is like the melting of ice on a warm mountain bed.

His touch is like a King’s release of passion after a long period of war.

The way his gaze falls on me is like the awareness the Ghost Leopard brings to the forest as his eyes fall upon a waiting prey.

My Smooth Man does things to me that make me wonder if I dreamed them even while they’re still happening to me.

Nothing else exists when I’m with my Smooth Man. It is at the point when I have to leave him that I remember that there is a world outside of the velvety magnificence of him.

This last Sunday, I actually felt the first pang of guilt at my two-timing. I was with The Classic Man, and he had filled my morning with intense lovemaking which had awakened layers of my soul that go deeply beyond the realms of this Dimension.

Knowing my love for God and the journey God has brought me through, my Classic Man signed his name on my heart forever, by singing to me the song ‘Balm of Gilead’.

That took me back to every moment in the past in which I had been hurting, broken and afraid, when God like a Balm, healed me and shaped me into this beautiful person you now see.

By this thoughtful and invaluable gesture, my Classic Man was affirming me, and acknowledging the beauty he beholds when he looks at me.

“How can one Man make a woman feel this special?” I thought to myself as I lay in his arms comforted by the stroke of his fingers against my side.

Then, shortly after, without giving him any notice at all, I broke the serenity of our union and rushed out of our love enclave, without even knowing what I was going after myself.

I found myself unconsciously making my way to the 98.1 frequency to join my Smooth Man for Brunch.

His kind eyes and disarming smile welcomed me as he served me with the quiet dignity of a King providing for his Queen.

If only he knew where I had been only moments before. I wondered if my Classic Man’s breezy scent still lingered on me.

I soon forgot that and everything else as my Smooth Man drew me into himself with his grand chariots and enthroned me upon the sacred throne of his heart.

Oh God, why have you blessed me with the love of these two glorious Kings, and then imposed the curse of a conscience upon my unfaithful heart?

I don’t want to lie and cheat these two men anymore. They don’t deserve to be treated this way by me or even anyone else.

I’m going to come clean with both of them by letting each one in on the existence of the other, since I'm definitely not willing to let go of either.

I hope they’ll be satisfied in the fact that there is no Main Squeeze or Side Chick in my affair with them.

They are both my Kings and I promise to love them both with equal passion and commitment.

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN.

Hey Guys, Do You Have The BALLS To Read This?!

A few weeks ago, we talked about the 2 kinds of girls there are in Lagos; for the purpose of that post, I identified them ‘The Lover Girl’ and ‘The Sucker Girl’.

Today, I’m sharing my observations on the different types of guys I’ve seen and interacted with in Lagos.

I will say again, that there may be more types of guys than the three I’m identifying here, but for the purpose of this post, here are my three different types of guys in Lagos (or maybe in the world?!):


The Fly Guy

I don’t mean this in a bad way, but this guy is completely LOST!!

His expressed identity is marked by the fact that he has absolutely no clue who he is. Like with every other human being, the search for meaning and relevance has driven him to embrace all manner of thought patterns and egoic behaviors, as a definition of who he is.

The Fly Guy has become trapped in the false Idea of who he should be, or wants to be, propounded by every single Influential force in this world, other than the one deep within him.

He has no true sense of Self; this is expressed in the things that he uses to define his Self-Worth. You would see the Fly Guy in the clubs, popping Champagne not because he has something to celebrate, or he wants to be generous, but because he feels the need to do that to affirm his worth, not only to himself, but also to people around.

He would also be the Guy who you hear boast about how many chics he has on his case, how much money he has, or basically any other thing he believes would give him some value.

It’s funny because, I know some Fly Guys with genuinely good hearts, but they are sooo lost in being ‘Fly’ that their goodness is choked by the need to be what everyone else expects them to be.

If only the Fly Guy would look deep within himself and search for the core of who he is, Lagos would change overnight, cos we would have way too many Good men in this town.


The Limbo Guy

This guy has had a glimpse of who he can be.

He knows that within him lies the capacity to be a fantastic Leader, Follower, Husband/Boyfriend, and generally an excellent Person.

The problem with him is that he allows himself too many opportunities to be weak.

He knows what is right; he can do what is right; but for some reason, he limits himself from BEING who deep within, he knows he can be.

He has believed the lie that he has to have a certain amount of money, power, influence or whatever, before he can rise up to becoming the person he should be, and so he wallows in the mediocre standards that everyone around him celebrates.

The Limbo Guy constantly has a silent frustration growling on the inside of him. He is not satisfied with where he is and who he expresses himself to be, but he has made himself powerless by the thought that there’s nothing he can do about it.

He’s that guy that you see and would be like “this is a cool guy”, but would turn around and shock you by one really screwed-up thing that he does, which even him would not be able to explain why he did.

If only the Limbo Guy would stop for a moment and say “F*#k it mehn, let whatever wants to happen happen, I’m gonna BE who I know I am, right here, right NOW”, trust me, there’ll be a Revolution in this town.


The God-Man

Alright let me confess, I’m smiling as I’m writing about this Man.

This is a Man. He knows who he is, and has no apologies about it. You can’t blackmail this Man, cos he knows that he is not defined by his past, his weaknesses, or his flaws, but by the resident knowledge that he is from God.

One of the most visible marks of the God-Man is the fact that he takes charge. As a woman, or even as a male, you can’t be around the God-Man and not feel safe.

He is not threatened by anyone, no matter how much more money, power or influence the person has. He is secure in who he is and that security emanates from his veins as some Confidence that everyone perceives, but can hardly define.

The God-Man is powerful by his person. Okay, let me re-phrase; the force of his personality alone, not what he has, commands the utmost respect from whoever comes in contact with him.

In spite of that, he is humble and doesn’t ever see a need to announce himself. He has a kind heart and goes beyond knowing what is right, to actually DOING it.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t make mistakes, but his balls are large enough to allow him take ownership of what he has done and do everything in his capacity to make amends.

Now, don’t think that because I’ve called him a ‘God-Man’ means that he’s some kind of holier-than-thou person who’s always in church or is a Pastor. That’s not what I mean; a God-man can be that guy who everyone thinks is the Villain, because he doesn’t conform to the general standards or expectations. So it’s not a Religous thing, but more a knowledge of Self, and use of that knowledge to touch and impact the lives of others.

Unfortunately, there are only a handful of God-men in Lagos; but the great thing is that the God-Man has an out-of-this-world capacity to inspire the best out of those around him, so I have faith that more and more God-Men would be raised, and hopefully, one of them would come and ask me to marry him. *huge smile*

Anyway, I have to remember that a God-Man is only attracted to a woman who possesses the values he esteems.


So these are the 3 distinct types of Guys I’ve observed right here in Lagos. Checking guys out is a hobby I very unashamedly enjoy, so I’ll be sure to do some more Research on this subject.

For those of you who live outside of this city and know your terrain well, please feel free to enlighten us on the types of guys in your part of the world...

Church Crush - Update

Ya’ll have probably been wondering what went down with my Church Crush (let’s call him CC).

Well, after listening to all your very knowledgeable advice on how to approach him and some advice to just BONE him, I actually considered the option of going to talk to him.

This was the range of my plans:

- Smile at him the next time our eyes meet, then extend my hand and say “My name’s Tari..” then take it from there.

- Ask a male friend in church to go and do the research for me and come back to report to me. But I ditched that plan as I was too shy to reveal my Crush or my plan to my friend. Strange, seeing that I had not much of a problem telling the hundreds of people who come to my blog.

- Talk to the girl and make reference to him so she’d have to reveal if he was her brother, friend or boyfriend. I ditched that also...too manipulative for me!!

- Final plan and the one I went along with for a while...just EX him and free him from my mind. After all if he was interested in me, I don’t see any bodyguards surrounding me..abi no be so??!

The final plan went along quite well. I’d see him and just look the other way. I was still very aware of his presence, but it wasn’t anything too serious.

That could have gone along pretty well and trust me, by now I wouldn’t even be seeing him even if he is standing right in front of me. But the boy is just tooooo cute!! Chai...that is his crime!!!



Have you ever tried to ignore a light shining directly at you? Futile effort abi?! That’s what it’s like trying to ignore him!! It doesn’t help that I have a radar for Hotness, so even when I forget him, I’d just still be uncomfortable, as my radar is picking some strong Hotness signals around me!! Then I’d look around, and sure enough..

So one day, I was sitting next to a female acquaintance in church and he happened to stand up and pass by close to us. So I ask her “Yeah that guy does he have a brother?”

She says “I'm not sure but he has come with his family once or twice.”

I say (wrinkling my face, trying to remember) “he reminds me of someone I met, I dunno why I feel like it’s his brother”.

She says “His name is...”

Bingo!!! Just like that we have a name. This boy sef…even his name is hot!!

I rounded up the conversation, “Nah..don’t think it’s the same person”.

Alright guys, no-one can accuse me of not being sharp abeg!!

So now armed with a name, my dilemma becomes even more real as I have a name to attach it to!! Really had to reconsider the wisdom of my ‘Sharpness’.

It is worthy to note that for every time I saw him, the babe was still always with him!! So I became more and more convinced that she was his girl.

Brothers and sisters are not that close abeg!! Brothers are generally not that nice to their sisters..as in keeping a seat for them in church kind of nice!!

So again, I thought “Mehn lemme free this guy jooo!” then one day I was convinced:

They were sitting right behind me (yeah I had to go through that..more than once), and the Speaker was telling a story which ended with this prayer: “Your husband will not die early in Jesus name”

The “HALLELUYAH” that the babe screamed from right behind me was enough evidence to convince me, a jury and an entire nation of Single women that sitting right beside her was either her husband or husband to be.

I rest my case.

Join the discussion on the Facebook group page if you can't comment here...

"Who Am I" "Who Am I"...

I have to confess...I have a massive crush on D'Prince of Mo'Hits!!!!

Seriously, the guy makes me laugh. If I'm down and I set my eyes on him, everything changes!! So imagine my excitement when I found out that the video for his hit track 'OMOBA' was out!!

I wasn't disappointed!! Sheck irrout mehn...

SIBR & The Church Crush

Hey, have you ever wondered what TARIERE means? Well I’m going to tell you whether or not you care!! TARIERE means ‘Beloved One’. It is an Ijaw name (specifically Nembe which is a language…or dialect of Ijaw). The Ijaws are a tribe from the Niger Delta area of Nigeria.

Somehow I just felt the need to share that piece of information with you seeing that we’re in the season of LOVE and all! (wink, wink)

My weekend was fabulous as usual!! I realized sometime in the middle of a pedicure on Saturday that I’m a Strong, Independent, Beautiful and Relevant Woman, and so my sense of Fabulosity skyrocketed this weekend and into the week….even now.

On Sunday I took my SIBR self to church. Toni Tones (my super-cool fashion photographer friend) came to church with me. Before I go into the main gist, I have to make a confession: I have a huge crush on a certain guy in church!!

I’ve never spoken to him; don’t know his name or anything else about him except for the fact that he is just sooooooo cool!! He is so not like your regular guy; he has this air about him that says “I make my own rules” and seems to be completely his own person. I find that super attractive.

I just scope (check him out) from a distance. I have also caught him staring at me once or twice but that’s just about the extent it’s gone. Last week, I noticed he was sitting next to this really pretty girl…my heart sank but I decided to watch them a little more before concluding that she was his girlfriend. There were not really any tell-tale signs, just some whispering and laughing together one time.

On Sunday, there they were again!! As soon as I set my eyes on him and he was with her, I decided on the spot that my little scope-fest was over. So I officially ended the relationship that never was….until Toni Tones opened her big mouth.


Toni Tones

I had succeeded in not scoping my Crush for most of the service, and was enjoying myself when Toni suddenly nudges me and goes “Yo! Cute guy…your 12 o clock”. I bent my head and silently prayed that she wasn’t talking about him because I really do appreciate our friendship (all those free photo-shoots I get). When I finally looked up to check out my 12 o clock, sure enough it was him.

I sprang into action and warned her not to even think about it…my territory; we argued back and forth until I decided to drop the bomb on her. “Besides I think that babe he’s with is his girlfriend”. That got her silent for a minute.

Anyway, Toni and I spent the rest of the service comparing their noses and monitoring the Body language to determine if just maybe they could be brother and sister. The girl caught Toni staring a couple of times but that didn’t deter us.

Toni soon turned on me attacking me and calling me a Wimp. According to her I’ve been just scoping him for ages and done nothing about it. She thinks I should have at least gone to have a ‘chance’ conversation with him by now.

Alright now you see the problem is that I’m a very traditional girl. I cannot imagine myself propositioning a guy!! As in what on earth do I want to say to him?! “hey I’ve been checking you out for weeks and have even broken up with you in my mind a couple of times!!” Err…Psycho Alert!!

Toni isn’t taking it lightly at all. She is demanding that I go and talk to him. I on the other hand am completely fine doing the scope-game possibly forever. If our ever speaking depends on me, then it’s probably never going to happen.

But Toni’s got me thinking….am I being the Chicken she has now began calling me? I mean me going to meet him to talk to him instead of the other way around; doesn’t that make me seem a little too available? What if the girl he was with is really his girlfriend and I go and talk to him, I’ll just end up looking like a fool?

Why I ever allowed that girl come to church with me I’ll never know!! But really, Girls, Guys… what do you think? Should I brave it and go talk to him or just play it safe and keep doing the scope game??!