Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Hey Guys, Do You Have The BALLS To Read This?!

A few weeks ago, we talked about the 2 kinds of girls there are in Lagos; for the purpose of that post, I identified them ‘The Lover Girl’ and ‘The Sucker Girl’.

Today, I’m sharing my observations on the different types of guys I’ve seen and interacted with in Lagos.

I will say again, that there may be more types of guys than the three I’m identifying here, but for the purpose of this post, here are my three different types of guys in Lagos (or maybe in the world?!):

The Fly Guy

I don’t mean this in a bad way, but this guy is completely LOST!!

His expressed identity is marked by the fact that he has absolutely no clue who he is. Like with every other human being, the search for meaning and relevance has driven him to embrace all manner of thought patterns and egoic behaviors, as a definition of who he is.

The Fly Guy has become trapped in the false Idea of who he should be, or wants to be, propounded by every single Influential force in this world, other than the one deep within him.

He has no true sense of Self; this is expressed in the things that he uses to define his Self-Worth. You would see the Fly Guy in the clubs, popping Champagne not because he has something to celebrate, or he wants to be generous, but because he feels the need to do that to affirm his worth, not only to himself, but also to people around.

He would also be the Guy who you hear boast about how many chics he has on his case, how much money he has, or basically any other thing he believes would give him some value.

It’s funny because, I know some Fly Guys with genuinely good hearts, but they are sooo lost in being ‘Fly’ that their goodness is choked by the need to be what everyone else expects them to be.

If only the Fly Guy would look deep within himself and search for the core of who he is, Lagos would change overnight, cos we would have way too many Good men in this town.

The Limbo Guy

This guy has had a glimpse of who he can be.

He knows that within him lies the capacity to be a fantastic Leader, Follower, Husband/Boyfriend, and generally an excellent Person.

The problem with him is that he allows himself too many opportunities to be weak.

He knows what is right; he can do what is right; but for some reason, he limits himself from BEING who deep within, he knows he can be.

He has believed the lie that he has to have a certain amount of money, power, influence or whatever, before he can rise up to becoming the person he should be, and so he wallows in the mediocre standards that everyone around him celebrates.

The Limbo Guy constantly has a silent frustration growling on the inside of him. He is not satisfied with where he is and who he expresses himself to be, but he has made himself powerless by the thought that there’s nothing he can do about it.

He’s that guy that you see and would be like “this is a cool guy”, but would turn around and shock you by one really screwed-up thing that he does, which even him would not be able to explain why he did.

If only the Limbo Guy would stop for a moment and say “F*#k it mehn, let whatever wants to happen happen, I’m gonna BE who I know I am, right here, right NOW”, trust me, there’ll be a Revolution in this town.

The God-Man

Alright let me confess, I’m smiling as I’m writing about this Man.

This is a Man. He knows who he is, and has no apologies about it. You can’t blackmail this Man, cos he knows that he is not defined by his past, his weaknesses, or his flaws, but by the resident knowledge that he is from God.

One of the most visible marks of the God-Man is the fact that he takes charge. As a woman, or even as a male, you can’t be around the God-Man and not feel safe.

He is not threatened by anyone, no matter how much more money, power or influence the person has. He is secure in who he is and that security emanates from his veins as some Confidence that everyone perceives, but can hardly define.

The God-Man is powerful by his person. Okay, let me re-phrase; the force of his personality alone, not what he has, commands the utmost respect from whoever comes in contact with him.

In spite of that, he is humble and doesn’t ever see a need to announce himself. He has a kind heart and goes beyond knowing what is right, to actually DOING it.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t make mistakes, but his balls are large enough to allow him take ownership of what he has done and do everything in his capacity to make amends.

Now, don’t think that because I’ve called him a ‘God-Man’ means that he’s some kind of holier-than-thou person who’s always in church or is a Pastor. That’s not what I mean; a God-man can be that guy who everyone thinks is the Villain, because he doesn’t conform to the general standards or expectations. So it’s not a Religous thing, but more a knowledge of Self, and use of that knowledge to touch and impact the lives of others.

Unfortunately, there are only a handful of God-men in Lagos; but the great thing is that the God-Man has an out-of-this-world capacity to inspire the best out of those around him, so I have faith that more and more God-Men would be raised, and hopefully, one of them would come and ask me to marry him. *huge smile*

Anyway, I have to remember that a God-Man is only attracted to a woman who possesses the values he esteems.

So these are the 3 distinct types of Guys I’ve observed right here in Lagos. Checking guys out is a hobby I very unashamedly enjoy, so I’ll be sure to do some more Research on this subject.

For those of you who live outside of this city and know your terrain well, please feel free to enlighten us on the types of guys in your part of the world...


  1. tari

    yr just too much. this no longer a blog. its something way biggggggggeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr!!!!

  2. to be honest tari, i am shocked u could find some other type outside the "fly guy" in that lagos of ur's. this is not to generalize but for the few times i have stayed there i only ever met those kind of guys. you are so spot on, on that "limbo guy" but i feel those kinds of guys are usually those that something runs deep in them like religion or culture without them knowing why and to be honest i find them quite annoying because they want someone else to validate them and tell them it is okay to be human and alive.
    the "fly guys" have dominated the abuja scene too and why theirs is ridiculous is at least the lagos guys have basic salaries, these ones live from one deal to another but would show up every night to pop Champagne and all what not.
    there is a whole dictionary of them this side of town would have to mail u an essay on that to blog about.

  3. I like your analysis and i concur...I bet the fly guy accounts for 95% of guys in Lagos.

  4. Great analysis Tari. I believe with further research you can actually break these into subs as many guys fall in between ...

  5. Never really thought much about your analysis, but I have to say that the Fly guy is soo true, even moreso the fact that he may be good underneath his cool and fly exterior. I know quite a few guys like that. I also was praying for my own God fearing God man as I read your post!

  6. OOOOh that mind of yoursis
    Abt marrying the God-man, no worries babe...God's got ur back on that one. I reallllllllllllly love ur angle...:)

  7. Yeah!!!!!!!!! This is a God-man replying and saying, Thumbs up!!!!

  8. Wow...great write up and spot on about the fly guy.This article seriously needs a larger audience and I strongly suggest you use it as one of your bella naija or 234 next articles. Too many men need to hear this message.