A few weeks ago, we talked about the 2 kinds of girls there are in Lagos; for the purpose of that post, I identified them ‘The Lover Girl’ and ‘The Sucker Girl’.
Today, I’m sharing my observations on the different types of guys I’ve seen and interacted with in Lagos.
I will say again, that there may be more types of guys than the three I’m identifying here, but for the purpose of this post, here are my three different types of guys in Lagos (or maybe in the world?!):
The Fly Guy
I don’t mean this in a bad way, but this guy is completely LOST!!
His expressed identity is marked by the fact that he has absolutely no clue who he is. Like with every other human being, the search for meaning and relevance has driven him to embrace all manner of thought patterns and egoic behaviors, as a definition of who he is.
The Fly Guy has become trapped in the false Idea of who he should be, or wants to be, propounded by every single Influential force in this world, other than the one deep within him.
He has no true sense of Self; this is expressed in the things that he uses to define his Self-Worth. You would see the Fly Guy in the clubs, popping Champagne not because he has something to celebrate, or he wants to be generous, but because he feels the need to do that to affirm his worth, not only to himself, but also to people around.
He would also be the Guy who you hear boast about how many chics he has on his case, how much money he has, or basically any other thing he believes would give him some value.
It’s funny because, I know some Fly Guys with genuinely good hearts, but they are sooo lost in being ‘Fly’ that their goodness is choked by the need to be what everyone else expects them to be.
If only the Fly Guy would look deep within himself and search for the core of who he is, Lagos would change overnight, cos we would have way too many Good men in this town.
The Limbo Guy
This guy has had a glimpse of who he can be.
He knows that within him lies the capacity to be a fantastic Leader, Follower, Husband/Boyfriend, and generally an excellent Person.
The problem with him is that he allows himself too many opportunities to be weak.
He knows what is right; he can do what is right; but for some reason, he limits himself from BEING who deep within, he knows he can be.
He has believed the lie that he has to have a certain amount of money, power, influence or whatever, before he can rise up to becoming the person he should be, and so he wallows in the mediocre standards that everyone around him celebrates.
The Limbo Guy constantly has a silent frustration growling on the inside of him. He is not satisfied with where he is and who he expresses himself to be, but he has made himself powerless by the thought that there’s nothing he can do about it.
He’s that guy that you see and would be like “this is a cool guy”, but would turn around and shock you by one really screwed-up thing that he does, which even him would not be able to explain why he did.
If only the Limbo Guy would stop for a moment and say “F*#k it mehn, let whatever wants to happen happen, I’m gonna BE who I know I am, right here, right NOW”, trust me, there’ll be a Revolution in this town.
Alright let me confess, I’m smiling as I’m writing about this Man.
This is a Man. He knows who he is, and has no apologies about it. You can’t blackmail this Man, cos he knows that he is not defined by his past, his weaknesses, or his flaws, but by the resident knowledge that he is from God.
One of the most visible marks of the God-Man is the fact that he takes charge. As a woman, or even as a male, you can’t be around the God-Man and not feel safe.
He is not threatened by anyone, no matter how much more money, power or influence the person has. He is secure in who he is and that security emanates from his veins as some Confidence that everyone perceives, but can hardly define.
The God-Man is powerful by his person. Okay, let me re-phrase; the force of his personality alone, not what he has, commands the utmost respect from whoever comes in contact with him.
In spite of that, he is humble and doesn’t ever see a need to announce himself. He has a kind heart and goes beyond knowing what is right, to actually DOING it.
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t make mistakes, but his balls are large enough to allow him take ownership of what he has done and do everything in his capacity to make amends.
Now, don’t think that because I’ve called him a ‘God-Man’ means that he’s some kind of holier-than-thou person who’s always in church or is a Pastor. That’s not what I mean; a God-man can be that guy who everyone thinks is the Villain, because he doesn’t conform to the general standards or expectations. So it’s not a Religous thing, but more a knowledge of Self, and use of that knowledge to touch and impact the lives of others.
Unfortunately, there are only a handful of God-men in Lagos; but the great thing is that the God-Man has an out-of-this-world capacity to inspire the best out of those around him, so I have faith that more and more God-Men would be raised, and hopefully, one of them would come and ask me to marry him. *huge smile*
Anyway, I have to remember that a God-Man is only attracted to a woman who possesses the values he esteems.
So these are the 3 distinct types of Guys I’ve observed right here in Lagos. Checking guys out is a hobby I very unashamedly enjoy, so I’ll be sure to do some more Research on this subject.
For those of you who live outside of this city and know your terrain well, please feel free to enlighten us on the types of guys in your part of the world...
6 years ago