Tuesday, February 2, 2010

SIBR & The Church Crush

Hey, have you ever wondered what TARIERE means? Well I’m going to tell you whether or not you care!! TARIERE means ‘Beloved One’. It is an Ijaw name (specifically Nembe which is a language…or dialect of Ijaw). The Ijaws are a tribe from the Niger Delta area of Nigeria.

Somehow I just felt the need to share that piece of information with you seeing that we’re in the season of LOVE and all! (wink, wink)

My weekend was fabulous as usual!! I realized sometime in the middle of a pedicure on Saturday that I’m a Strong, Independent, Beautiful and Relevant Woman, and so my sense of Fabulosity skyrocketed this weekend and into the week….even now.

On Sunday I took my SIBR self to church. Toni Tones (my super-cool fashion photographer friend) came to church with me. Before I go into the main gist, I have to make a confession: I have a huge crush on a certain guy in church!!

I’ve never spoken to him; don’t know his name or anything else about him except for the fact that he is just sooooooo cool!! He is so not like your regular guy; he has this air about him that says “I make my own rules” and seems to be completely his own person. I find that super attractive.

I just scope (check him out) from a distance. I have also caught him staring at me once or twice but that’s just about the extent it’s gone. Last week, I noticed he was sitting next to this really pretty girl…my heart sank but I decided to watch them a little more before concluding that she was his girlfriend. There were not really any tell-tale signs, just some whispering and laughing together one time.

On Sunday, there they were again!! As soon as I set my eyes on him and he was with her, I decided on the spot that my little scope-fest was over. So I officially ended the relationship that never was….until Toni Tones opened her big mouth.

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Toni Tones

I had succeeded in not scoping my Crush for most of the service, and was enjoying myself when Toni suddenly nudges me and goes “Yo! Cute guy…your 12 o clock”. I bent my head and silently prayed that she wasn’t talking about him because I really do appreciate our friendship (all those free photo-shoots I get). When I finally looked up to check out my 12 o clock, sure enough it was him.

I sprang into action and warned her not to even think about it…my territory; we argued back and forth until I decided to drop the bomb on her. “Besides I think that babe he’s with is his girlfriend”. That got her silent for a minute.

Anyway, Toni and I spent the rest of the service comparing their noses and monitoring the Body language to determine if just maybe they could be brother and sister. The girl caught Toni staring a couple of times but that didn’t deter us.

Toni soon turned on me attacking me and calling me a Wimp. According to her I’ve been just scoping him for ages and done nothing about it. She thinks I should have at least gone to have a ‘chance’ conversation with him by now.

Alright now you see the problem is that I’m a very traditional girl. I cannot imagine myself propositioning a guy!! As in what on earth do I want to say to him?! “hey I’ve been checking you out for weeks and have even broken up with you in my mind a couple of times!!” Err…Psycho Alert!!

Toni isn’t taking it lightly at all. She is demanding that I go and talk to him. I on the other hand am completely fine doing the scope-game possibly forever. If our ever speaking depends on me, then it’s probably never going to happen.

But Toni’s got me thinking….am I being the Chicken she has now began calling me? I mean me going to meet him to talk to him instead of the other way around; doesn’t that make me seem a little too available? What if the girl he was with is really his girlfriend and I go and talk to him, I’ll just end up looking like a fool?

Why I ever allowed that girl come to church with me I’ll never know!! But really, Girls, Guys… what do you think? Should I brave it and go talk to him or just play it safe and keep doing the scope game??!


  1. SIBR woman... Stop scoping and start talking... All of this is so far in your head and still hasn't left there. What if the 'babe' is merely an acquaintance or a relative? You need to end this 'crush-in-the-head' thing otherwise this remains just another fantasy. Simply get someone to introduce you 'by chance' if you can't 'accidentally' have a conversation with the dude... Maybe he might speak and an 'h' factor could dissolve all 'love clouds'... lwkm... Just make a move so you can ease your mental tension...

  2. Talk to him! He just may have been scoping you out too. The girl with him may just be, errr, just his cousin! lolll!

  3. LOL @ 'h factor'!!! I'll actually fall down in front of him laughing if that were to happen!!

    Mental Tension VS the unknown outcome of talking to him??!! Hmmnnn....I dunno mehn!!

  4. It's sooo easy for you guys to say!! You're not the one who'll have to face him again if it goes wrong!!
    I'd first like some real stories of girls who have actually done what you're asking me to do....that'll help in making my decision!!

  5. To be quite honest, it's about time you brave up...there ain't much to lose.
    Give or take the worst that could happen is you end up as friends&well another friend really couldn't do that much damage right...?

  6. i think you shouldn't chat him up directly , but 'create opportunity' for him to talk to you if he wishes, say, timing you exit from the church to coincide perfectly with his, or perhaps maneuvering your way into the same pew.........that way, he can take the cue .if he wants to ;-)

  7. Dont do it!!! Fi le! for real though i had the same dilemma late last yr and im still paying for it.Cute church boy gone wrong..lemme first say they r planted by the devil so we can make big fools of ourselves. and the thing is because u meet them in church i think they r gud. They r my case days of scoping have now been transformed to sundays of ducking and diving! i assure u he has a gf..they all do...and church boys! such liars!hiss
    babe take it frm me...don't go there! keep enjoying the view afterall the fun's in the chase. U'll just be disappointed that he just cute...nothing between the ears!

  8. Just had 2 comment nt abt d guy @ church but d photo 'fierce', lovely n so on trend, Toni did a great job so beta nt let her go hehehe!

  9. LMAO!! You guys are actually really good at this!!

    Also LOL @ '...they are planted by the devil so we can make big fools of ourselves'....To his credit though...he doesnt seem like the typical 'Church Boy'!! Thanks for sharing your gives me something to remember when I scope again!!

    @Cyn: Toni Tones is a HOT photographer and a GREAT friend!! Not letting her go anytime soon...especially not for some guy that may just av an 'H factor'!! LOL

  10. I dont think its wrong to approach a guy you like but you cant go to him and say "hi i like you..." you have to bring up smthing that can get u guys to talk and ... i dont know! anything.

  11. exactly....just tell him u like him and like 2 b his friend....hw long do u want to continue to scope him?

  12. Hmm, your blog is so contradictory. How can you be this SIBR and need other people's experiences to make one of your own? You say he looks like someone who makes his own rules, surely he would appreciate that in someone else? If not, then perhaps you have not read him right and you may be better off with your fantasy man.

  13. Thanks for commenting Anonymous!!

    The power of RESEARCH in all life's endeavors can NEVER be underestimated...even in Business. Better decisions are made when there is a body of information to guide in making the right choice.
    Even the Supreme Court in all Judicial systems rely on old judgments and cases in helping them make a ruling on a new one!!
    I dont see what's so contradictory in wanting to hear about another person's experience in helping me assess the pros and cons of whatever choice I do decide to make.

    Thanks again your comment and by the way...I am still an SIBR woman.

  14. i am in the same place as you are SIBR..only worse because mine has a serious GF.
    I go into mental break down at the thought of him. Now the sight of him,i cant think up words which will fully articulate or carry the extent of my feelings.
    In my case,we speak and get along a bit but i WANT MORE!
    And way too traditional to send a full blown proposition his way. Dilemma is where am in.

  15. Hmmnn...I completely feel you on the 'WANTING MORE'! I've been in such a situation (not in this case) where I've wanted much more than I was getting from a guy.

    I really dunno wat to say except wot I say to myself, which is that when we want from someone much more than they are in a position to give, and we want by all means, we end up accepting less than we actually deserve as we keep grabbing on the crumbs being offered, hoping that they will eventually add up to something substantial.

    Take it easy girl, be clear to yourself about what exactly you want from a Man and stand on it. This guy may not be able to give you that (even if he wants to) because of where he is, but you will eventually get it from someone else...and even better!!

    Just be good to yourself and don't let this get you down more than it already has. HUGS and KISSES...Tari

  16. Go get him.He is all urs if u mek d move;trust me guys dat gat suave like babes dat act on d rock,no dulling.
    Be ur normal self,dressing and otherwise;find ur way to his pew,chartup d girl with him 1st,topic like ur TARIERE blog and stuffs u are into wil b of utmost captivation,trust me Tari,as u're charting d girl up,d dude wil b dying and craving for ur hello,don't give it to him yet;calmly ask d girl,d guy beside u,is he ur broda? Believe me u hav given her a long injection to vommit d truth between their closeness,knowing d truth which she wil undoubtebly tell u,stretch a handshake of hello to d dude:hi,i am Tari,of...........{he cuts in} hmmm,relax friend as he does d talking coz u hav gat him on a one lane!!! Try dis and giv Don-Puk, ur testimony...=:)

  17. LOOOOOOLLLL...Do you do this for a living?! Thanks!!

  18. Hahaha!!! I'm jus smart at combining digits to open d hardest lock....Lmao!!! Don-Puk!!!

  19. @Tari..
    So it worked ni.. i mean the approach anon gave you! Did it pan out as he stated?
    Give us gist jare!