Friday, April 16, 2010

Church Crush - Update

Ya’ll have probably been wondering what went down with my Church Crush (let’s call him CC).

Well, after listening to all your very knowledgeable advice on how to approach him and some advice to just BONE him, I actually considered the option of going to talk to him.

This was the range of my plans:

- Smile at him the next time our eyes meet, then extend my hand and say “My name’s Tari..” then take it from there.

- Ask a male friend in church to go and do the research for me and come back to report to me. But I ditched that plan as I was too shy to reveal my Crush or my plan to my friend. Strange, seeing that I had not much of a problem telling the hundreds of people who come to my blog.

- Talk to the girl and make reference to him so she’d have to reveal if he was her brother, friend or boyfriend. I ditched that also...too manipulative for me!!

- Final plan and the one I went along with for a while...just EX him and free him from my mind. After all if he was interested in me, I don’t see any bodyguards surrounding me..abi no be so??!

The final plan went along quite well. I’d see him and just look the other way. I was still very aware of his presence, but it wasn’t anything too serious.

That could have gone along pretty well and trust me, by now I wouldn’t even be seeing him even if he is standing right in front of me. But the boy is just tooooo cute!! Chai...that is his crime!!!

Have you ever tried to ignore a light shining directly at you? Futile effort abi?! That’s what it’s like trying to ignore him!! It doesn’t help that I have a radar for Hotness, so even when I forget him, I’d just still be uncomfortable, as my radar is picking some strong Hotness signals around me!! Then I’d look around, and sure enough..

So one day, I was sitting next to a female acquaintance in church and he happened to stand up and pass by close to us. So I ask her “Yeah that guy does he have a brother?”

She says “I'm not sure but he has come with his family once or twice.”

I say (wrinkling my face, trying to remember) “he reminds me of someone I met, I dunno why I feel like it’s his brother”.

She says “His name is...”

Bingo!!! Just like that we have a name. This boy sef…even his name is hot!!

I rounded up the conversation, “Nah..don’t think it’s the same person”.

Alright guys, no-one can accuse me of not being sharp abeg!!

So now armed with a name, my dilemma becomes even more real as I have a name to attach it to!! Really had to reconsider the wisdom of my ‘Sharpness’.

It is worthy to note that for every time I saw him, the babe was still always with him!! So I became more and more convinced that she was his girl.

Brothers and sisters are not that close abeg!! Brothers are generally not that nice to their in keeping a seat for them in church kind of nice!!

So again, I thought “Mehn lemme free this guy jooo!” then one day I was convinced:

They were sitting right behind me (yeah I had to go through that..more than once), and the Speaker was telling a story which ended with this prayer: “Your husband will not die early in Jesus name”

The “HALLELUYAH” that the babe screamed from right behind me was enough evidence to convince me, a jury and an entire nation of Single women that sitting right beside her was either her husband or husband to be.

I rest my case.

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  1. very light-hearted read.great style.

  2. haha!! you just made my drab monday morning all better! (hopefully my boss doesnt walk in)
    Even if they're together. the reason she is screaming hallelujah is probably because they are about to break up, and she is trying to let him know that she will kill him if he breaks up with her. Kai! Poor guy!
    Tari it is up to you to save him o!
    We're all praying for u!

  3. LMAO @ *she is trying to let him know that she will kill him if he breaks up with her*. Abeg oooo that's not the kind of mission i want to be carrying on my head!! As if I dont already have enough issues.

  4. I had a church crush recently, only for me to discover that the young man is married with a son that looks just like him. I was furious, for starters I checked the finger for the ring, I saw no ring, he had been staring, and I had been staring too. He sat with his wife and son, I still sat there under the delusion that she was probably his elder sister and the child was his nephew.LOL! The sort of thoughts women have to keep them happy. I just knew things were going to go bad when I saw Tari’s last update on her church crush; thank God I never worked up the courage to talk to the guy, which would have been so embarrassing. What I don’t understand is why suitable young married men should go around without their wedding bands. Even if the band gets missing, it should be replaced within a month at least. Is it a ploy to deceive single innocent ladies such as myself?

  5. @ Anonymous: That is just WRONG mehn!! Iv also been in that situation when a guy is talking to me and he has no ring on so you dunno he's married!!

    I really wonder if it is a ploy to deceive us single girls like you said.

  6. Beautiful. I giggled thruout. It reminded me of my own, using ur language, 'Church crush'. One would have expected it should have been easier for me going to her. But I was too lily-livered. Then and again, the girl's efizi was too intimidating. I just buckled. Remembering it now makes me guffaw. But its okay now, Im married. I just basically look back and laugh.

    You write well Sis.