This may sound weird, I mean like really, really George Bush wearing iro and buba kind of weird, but I just have to say it….
I went for my first proper date on Saturday!!!
26 and three-quarters years old, been in like 800 relationships, and yet never been on a proper, proper date!! I mean the kind when you meet a guy, give him your number, he asks you out, you agree, you leave him to plan where he’s taking you, he comes to get you, you get into the car...and yeah all proper first date protocol.
I was super-excited on Saturday morning and was hopping all over the place singing “I’m going on a date!!” I felt like I was 14years old and being allowed out with a boy for the first time. Even the matter of life and death decision of what to wear on a first date couldn’t dampen my enthusiasm.
I thought of wearing a short, white dress, in my usual Lagos weekend style, but ditched the idea….didn’t want him to be on a date with my legs instead of me.
Go simple in Skinny jeans and a baby-tee?! Nope...might make him feel just a little too comfortable like we’re already together or something.
So I finally decided on a white vest and dark brown, mid-calf length baggy corduroy pants. Better to look like ass-kicking Lara Croft of Tombraider on a first date than an Ijaw version of Marilyn Monroe.
Angelina Jolie in her 'Lara Croft' persona
I kept him waiting for like 8mins (not good enough yeah?!) while I got ready. It felt damn good keeping him waiting, knowing that he wouldn’t dare complain about it and spoil the Mr Nice Guy persona that he has to have to keep the game going.
He took me to see ‘Date Night’, which was the mid-afternoon special at the cinema. And yes tried the whole putting the arm around me thing in the dark theater. I almost exploded as I tried desperately not to burst out in laughter. My goodness!! I couldn’t believe that he would actually get up to such a cliché gesture!! Anyway, that didn’t last a minute.
The movie was great…..I laughed hysterically at the antics of two of my most favorite people, Steve Carrell and Tina Fey. And then displayed my silliness by shouting “Whacked Off” loudly complete with the hand gesture and all, after an on-screen joke that I only got like 2minutes after. My date almost disappeared into his chair!!
Steve Carrell & Tina Fey in a scene from the movie
Then I almost choked, as he decided that I needed to be fed popcorn and kept on shoving fistfuls into my mouth. My mouthful mumbling of “I don’t want” definitely wasn’t very well comprehended. In a gasping for air kind of moment, with the next fistful on its way, I finally managed to say a coherent, “Please stop feeding me popcorn!!”
We went for lunch afterwards, where he told me about his recently ended relationship, which by my reckoning might be yet another break in their 5year on and off relationship.
I took him for a huge ice-cream dessert afterwards and then we walked the Beach where I demanded that he call one of those Mobile Rasta Musicians to come play me a special song. He couldn’t believe it and let me know that he wasn’t going to be by my side while that happened. I said it was fine. I called the guy myself and surprisingly, my date stayed right by me and we were soon singing the song together long after the Rastaman had left.
All in all it actually was a very interesting and fun first date. I hope my date feels the same sentiment as he looked kind of sad as I skipped happily into my house after refusing his first-kiss gesture.
So how do you rate my Sweet 26 First Date experience??!! I invite you to do with me what I spend hours with my Terror Squad doing: breaking down every gesture, word and/or action that came from my poor date.
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7 years ago