Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Wife Material OR Glorified Housegirl?

Gone are the days when you ‘court’ (gosh..that word!!) a young virgin and she’s never left alone with the suitor or even husband-to-be, let alone, see the inside of his home.

Today, as I’m sure you are aware, the average girl in a relationship believes that if she doesn’t fully move in, or set up monuments of herself in the guy’s home, she is setting herself up for a major takeover by a sharper babe.

So the novelty of leaving your own home to move into your husband’s after the wedding, has been completely (please prove me wrong!) lost in our 21st Century Relationships.

In that kind of situation, the girl may often find herself in a position where she has to cook, clean, and basically take up all duties regarding the maintenance of both the man and his home. Note that in some or most cases, there may or may not be a ring on her very tired and dusty fingers as she strives to put even a seasoned housewife to shame, by the intensity in her efforts.

The motivation for her, as she de-glamourises herself in the guy’s kitchen or while washing his boxers, is the voice in her head that keeps repeating, “He will see how much of a wife-material you are and know that he can’t afford to let you go”.

So she scrubs even harder or strives to cook much better.

Alright I’ll just shut up and go straight to the point: Is there a limit in a pre-marriage relationship to how much of herself a girl should give/show a guy?

At what point does it become a ‘See-finish’ situation?

For as long as a guy has not paid a bride price or said an “I do”, should a girl even lift a finger to do any form of manual labor in his home?

Is an un-married girl who breaks her back to cater for a guy in his home a Wife Material OR just a Glorified Housegirl??!!

Over to you...and guys, feel free to share your side of the fence..


  1. u wanna b housegirl die..i dont think you should have to prove anything to anyone. if ur domestic character, do it cos u care and u enjoy looking after people not cos your hoping for ring at the end cos u go jus jones.hav u not seen when they date a babe for years and marry someone in front of you after a few months.long tins.

  2. I agree with you anonymous.. Don't slave for any guy cos u want a ring cos if that doesn't happen you will feel used, do it cos its fun for you and if its not DON'T MOVE IN!!

  3. Male cow excreta is what the glorified house girl matter is! Many guys will simply read "desperate babe" into those moves and she will still lose the chap anyway! the babe should retain her dignity and wait until it is formal before tying wrapper in kitchen!!! Nothing wrong of course with a cooked meal and a wash here and there but not house-girl! No way Jose! Some mystery is good in the beginning...

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  5. It depends on the guy and what he is looking for in a wife o.some men seriously want someone who can cook, clean and bear them kids...If it is one of such guys then cleaning and cooking b4 marriage to prove your "skills" may work (but why would anyone even want to be with with a guy like that?)...however on the flipside,you could be perceived as desperate.

    Personally, i WONT slave like that for a guy i am not married too!

  6. Well...that was a nice one but no girl really need to be a house-girl for any guy all in the name of proving to be a good wife material. For me, I love girls with independent mind. So girls let your man take u for who u are 'cos over 80% of our girls (Nigerian girls)are gifted domestically. However, after all the house-girl work he can still leave you for a junk! Man speaking...

  7. Ring or no ring, I am not going to be anybodies house girl! Before we met, how did you wash your clothes or eat??
    Is this whole scenario even possible with a girl that has a full time job or is in school working towards a career??
    Plus if u have an average to high self esteem, why should you even care whether or not he thinks you have the "skills" to be a wife??
    I hope that that fact that our generation has many strong, independent women, will make this whole "glorified housegirl" situation history!

  8. i like the idea of my place..your place..i would still clean, cook, and do all that (just because i like to) but i am not moving with you until God as joined us together as man and wife! lol

  9. Lmao @ Everyone: Seriously guys, you'll be shocked at how many Naija girls and even guys beleive that the Glorified housegirl route is the way to go!!

  10. My mother always said "Don't act like a wife until you are a wife". So I never cooked and/or cleaned in my then boyfriend's home. I got a lot of flack from my friends for doing things that way but i'd be damned if i go to another persons house to be doing housegirl or wifey!! i always said when we are in OUR home, i will cook...and now I we are in OUR home, I do...
    women stay doing the most, dont kill yourself, a man who wants to marry you will regardless of your ability in the kitchen! thatsall...

  11. I don't understand why the expected end result is a girl working manual labour in some guy's house which ever way you go. i don't see why saying "i do" justifies manual labour. or your washing someone's underwear gives your 'wifehood' legitimacy.
    I know what u're going to say before you say it Tari...i'm naive right? But i'm sorry, its difficult enough taking care of myself....

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  13. MY philosophy is if ur in my home i feed u n make u comfortable , if im in urs u feed me n make Me comfortable ... all the cleaning n washing can wait till d ring is on the finger and d real slavery begins. some parents however expect their son's gf to come over n cook,clean and even stay over to 'Wet' the ground but i was'nt raised dat way mieennn. My boyfrnds friend dated a chic for like 7 years and at a time i met her washing a pile of his clothes n today they rnt dating any longer. slavery no be pre- requisite to the ring o ! fine , thotful gestures here n there are welcome but the day my boyfriend began to sing dat song of cookin n cleanin i KILLED it n he still loves me regardless :) BE YOURSELF .

  14. peenk, i loved him and seeing his clothes were dirty i washed it with my cousins help. sometime down the line,he saw it as a right and one day he told me to go wash his cloth and i said what the heck not me.and that was the end of ever touching his clothes.LADIES SLAVING IS NEVER THE WAY TO A MANS HEART IF HE CANT TAKE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE,ITS NOT WORTH IT