All my life, I’ve always thought of myself as one little Rebel.
I have a stubborn inclination within myself to always want to do the exact opposite of what I know I shouldn’t be doing. However, my lifetime of experience in the game of Rebelliousness failed me this past weekend.
This had to be the longest weekend ever!! I had no idea how much a deliberate attempt to keep myself away from Mr. Smooth was going to affect me. My mind was inundated with thoughts of him; memories and flashes from times we’ve spent together. Every single thing I saw, ate, felt, heard and imagined, reminded me of him.
What has that suave son of a gun done to me, I wonder? It was the very last of my willpower that it took to hold me back every single time I thought of him. All I wanted was to escape from my self-imposed prison of Smooth Deprivation, and run over to his lair on the 98.1 frequency, pouring myself at his feet and nuzzling my hair and cheek against his ankle.
I wanted to curl myself up in his side and drink in the fountain of his magnificent scent. I wanted to gaze admiringly into his beautiful eyes as he displayed his extensive knowledge of World Politics, Astronomy, Meta-Physics, Human Relationship Dynamics, World History, Nature and every other subject he so intelligently teaches me about when we’re together.
Oh, how I love the mind of my Mr. Smooth. He knows something about everything. There is no question I ask of him, that he doesn’t give an enlightened answer to. His understanding is like the sand on the sea-shores all around the coast of Lagos.
With tears in my eyes right now, I declare to you that I’m terribly missing him.
But I feel as though I have to do this. Please tell me, is the way I feel about him normal?
Are my responses to him natural?
I’ve NEVER missed the Sunday Brunch tradition that Mr. Smooth and I share; but this Sunday I deliberately kept myself away.
I was a nervous wreck!! Made even more so by the fact that he didn’t even call to find out why I didn’t show up.
Could it be that my earlier suspicion of him not caring about me was right? Am I merely a disposable convenience to Mr. Smooth?
But his eyes say something different when we’re together. The way he looks at me cannot be a lie. His gaze is usually filled with such tenderness toward me, like he would NEVER allow anything hurt me.
I really am confused...
So it was a very welcome escape for me, when Mr. Classic invited me for a ride on a luxury jet he had chartered for the weekend.
I was also slightly surprised, I had no idea Mr. Classic rolled like that. But I asked no questions, simply packed a little Vanity Case and made my way into this Classic Flight.
It was a different side of Mr. Classic I experienced this weekend. Between you and me, I felt he was trying a little to be like Mr. Smooth to me.
When I told him about my affair last week, he did ask me what it was about Mr. Smooth that attracted me to him. I told him; maybe I shouldn’t have, as I now get the feeling that Mr. Classic is trying to be a little Smooth to me.
I’m not quite sure if I’m comfortable with that or not. I kind of like Mr. Classic for the person he is.
Gosh!! Not what I needed at all!! There I was trying to escape from Mr. Smooth, and now I’m trapped on a luxury jet with his Wannabe for what now seemed like a looooonnngg tin!!
I immediately felt guilty pangs after having that thought. Mr. Classic was only making an effort to bring what he imagined was ‘wholeness’ to our relationship. I had hurt him with my infidelity, yet he had forgiven me and is now trying hard, even going out of his comfort zone, to make us work.
I should be ashamed of myself for looking down on him because of that. My heart immediately warmed to him, and I proceeded to give him an experience only the hazy clouds could document, if only they had eyes and ears!!
Needless to say, Mr. Classic was speechless after that; but he soon recovered and chased me all around the empty aircraft, for being such a naughty girl. I hoped the Pilots didn’t mistake our rumbling for turbulence!!
I was sooooo happy to have my REAL Classic Man back!! I squealed delightfully as we laughingly played all over the place. I was so happy!!
After a while, we lay down on the floor and enjoyed the silent humming of the vessel, as it cut across the dark skies like a seasoned Predator.
At that point I remembered that I was supposed to be on a mission with Mr. Classic also. This was not going to be easy, he’s such a sweetheart, and I hate to make him even slightly uncomfortable. Silly me, why would asking him any questions make him uncomfortable?
I’ve practically shared my entire life with him; he knows everything about me, down to the piercings I have...
I turned to face him and rested my head on his shoulder as he drew me close to him. Then I quietly asked:
“What was it like for you growing up?”
He lifted his head, and peered closely at me, looking a little surprised. There was also something in his eyes I’d never seen before.
Then he stood up so abruptly that my head lost its balance and hit the floor with a resounding thud..
To be continued...
6 years ago