Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Current Location: Bistro in GRA, Ikeja.

Issue on Ground: Tempted to smoke a cigarette!!

Why its an issue: I've quit for a while and if I dare light one up now, TROOBBLLEEE!!!!

Current Solution: BLAB on Blog to distract myself!!

What shall I blab about? I dunno..let's see..maybe this suddenly famous device called VUVUZELA!!

Up until this moment when it was being talked about on CNN..ok and maybe last night when my cousin enlightened me, I could have sworn it was a Vulva-related device!!

The question on my mind was: How come it only became this popular during this World Cup?!

Is there something about Female World Cup fans that need the prompt attention of a Vulva..sorry I mean Vulvuzela?!! I running out of Blabs?!!

The ciggis look sooo pretty as they prostitute themselves for me on the Bar! I can almost hear them screaming "Aunty don't I look HOOTTT", "Aunty I give great PUFFSS!!",as they wiggle their tobacco-filled hips and pout the Federal Ministry of Health signed lips, in my direction!!

How about "Aunty one puff of me and your lungs will make Alec Wek look oyinbo"..freaking bitches!! You're not gonna get me this time..fecking overrated Badly Burnt Air!!

So for once, the Obsessive Writer that I am is gonna have a typo-filled post..becos of these Ciggi-bitches!!!

Maybe I should buy them ALL, out them on the floor outside, and reverse my muddy tyres all over their faces..that ought to teach them not to flirt with me!!

What the helcks..what part of "IT'S OVER" don't they undertstand?!

Tariere, wait calm it possible that there's some other reason why you want to smoke?! Why is it today of all days, after ALL this time, that you are tempted?!

Shut up..Madam Too-Know!! What do you know?! So because I feel like smoking I have to be bothered about something?! When you felt like eating chocolate cake..and went to get it last week..did I say there was anything bothering you?! If you've got nothing to say, I suggest you shut your fat ass up!!

My ass is not fat anymore *sticking tongue out* never was! It was well-formed, sexy and a great, great companion..a much berra one than you I might add!! *now turning back*

Why is this place so empty?! I kinda like it though..there is a certain Celeb here..I decided to let him/her and their date stay alone in the VIP section *wink*. I told them.."Let me leave this place for you guys!!"

They couldn't even say "No, its okay.stay"..obviously need their privacy I see!!

Anyway, I shall just bask in my own Sherperd's Pie is here...ttcchhewww..False Alarm!!

I asked for a side of Chilli sauce to be served with my Pie..I wonder what that'll taste like!! The Naija babe in me can never fail to disappoint..Sherperd's Pie with Chilli Sauce... hand de pain me small oooo..all this typing!! I love Richard Quest..he means Business!! *smile*

Seriously, how long does it take for a Sherperd's Pie to be ready?! Its been almost 30 mins now!!

Haven't ordered a drink yet..what should I have?! I wonder if white wine would taste funny with my Pie?!

Is it too early for a Henny & Coke?! Taaaaa..Long Island Bastard..NEVER!! At least not this afternoon..before my meeting!!

Maybe ill just do a Sprite on ice and lemon! A lemony-iced Sprite!! A Spritely-iced Lemon!! A freaking drink..PSYCHO!!!

This Ciggi-bithces just poked my side again!! They are becoming more audacious I see...

Hmmnn..maybe if I don't inhale..just puff on it?! But then ill be all smelly at my meeting! C'mon many perfumes do you have between your bag and glove compartment?!!

You know what...NO. And that's word about CiggaWinch anymore!!

They bring the cutlery to make you think the food is right behind *now craning my neck to see*..Err..not even a hint of the odour!! I'm not even 'hearing' the smell!! LMAO!!

They gonna think I'm crazy here...YAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

And the Sherperd's Pie has now arrived!!

Looks delicious, smells divine!!

Ciao peeps..thanks for enduring my Blabs! Ur the bestest!!!!


  1. Wow Tari! As in you've just taken misyarning to another level!
    still love you anyway!

  2. Lol..welcome to the land called 'My Head'!!

  3. Vent on!!!!! Its a free world so please do not apologise

    Keep ur head up!!!!

  4. that must have been really, hard. congrats on not giving in and believe me i wasn't hating u for blabbing but for having a place where u can just order a shepherds pie, some of us would have to bake to eat one.

  5. I read this when you posted it first and I just laughed. It was hilarious! I can just imagine the cigarettes dancing the Samba in front of you. Not cigarettes but I can think of plenty other addictive situations i've been in. Keep holding the fort Tari, you can do it!