I listened to a young woman tell her story recently:
Her husband’s kidney’s failed and he needed a transplant. All his siblings and his Mum who were a match could not give him one of theirs. His sisters couldn’t give him because their husbands wouldn’t allow them, and his Mum couldn’t because a history of heart problems or hypertension made her ineligible.
So his wife, who was telling the story, promptly asked if she was a match, got tested and immediately offered to donate one of her kidneys to her husband as soon as she discovered she was.
The procedure for kidney transplants is a very delicate one and both donor and donoree can lose their lives in the process. In fact she had to sign multiple forms that confirmed that she was doing this of her own free will should she lose her life. Even her parents had to sign consent forms.
When asked the big question ‘WHY’ she did it, the lady gave a very simple answer: “My husband needed a kidney or he would die; I was a match; I didn’t even think about it beyond that.”
This woman was ready to give her life….sorry…..has given her life for her husband, because there is still major risk in living with only one kidney!!
The question I kept asking myself, apart from if I’d do it if I were in her shoes, was this: What if this man starts treating her bad or wants to divorce her in the future, would she regret her decision then?
There was the story last year about a New York doctor who sued his estranged wife, asking her to return the kidney he donated to her while they were married, until she allegedly had an affair.
Dr Richard Batista and Wife
I mean it’s a heroic gesture to give your kidney or any other vital part of yourself to someone you love, but I guess the test of the unconditional nature of the ‘love’ that prompts one to give so much, comes when there is a failure of the other party to meet one or all of your expectations of the giver.
All I could do after I listened to that woman tell her story was pray that God will give her the grace, so that regardless of whatever her husband does or does not do for her in future, she will not regret her decision.
We all have said or been told “I love you” at one time or the other, but the mark of true love is to give of oneself generously and expect NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING in return.
God help us.
7 years ago