Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Games Men Play

I recently saw a movie about three guys and the tactics they employed in getting girls laid. One of the guys, played by Mike Ezuoronye, was the fine boy who had an all-round big-boy swag that was entirely fake. Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Whenever he opened his mouth to speak, it was all big talk about the oil sector, important people, exotic places, houses, his toys, and all those other topics of conversation that dominate the expensive tables big boys gather around.

The trip about him was that everything that came out of his mouth was a potential architectural award winning lie constructed to get the babe to fling her legs open with great enthusiasm and reverence.
And it worked like smooth music on a stormy day; got them all cosy and more than willing to get warmed in his bed.

The second guy was played by Jim Iyke. Surprisingly, he was a really cool guy, though with a false sense of his own flamboyant elegance, who was trying to get up the ranks in the fraud industry.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

He was being mentored by one of the biggest boys in the field, who in the way we saw it, didn’t do a lot more than sit cross-legged in his a-little-too-tastefully furnished living room and smoke a stubby cigar.

Jim Iyke’s character was ambitious, hard-working and had the capacity to convince Barack Obama that he was an angel from God come to tell Barack that his true calling is to be a beggar on Falomo Bridge who is actually a terrorist that would nuke Lagos.

He was that good! He also did well with the babes and was even kind of generous to them. At least the cheques he gave didn’t bounce.

The third guy was a United States deportee who had to endure being broke and eventually, insults from his younger sister as he hustled to go back to the States.
He had a girlfriend who did runs to gather as much money as she could so they could ‘buy’ him a visa, and he would go to the States, settle in, then “send for her”. Image and video hosting by TinyPic

He was very grateful to her for using all the money she got from her ‘Uncles’ and ‘Aunties’ in Japan, USA and other parts of the world, to help him. This character was played by Nonso Diobi.

The aim of the movie, judging by it’s title, 'Games Men Play', is to show us the different things men do to impress girls and then inquest them.

It was interesting to see how girls responded when a man’s wealth is perceived. Everything changed; the speech, body language and mood all changed when the expectations attached to the aroma of wealth were aroused.

My knowledge of this comes from my own responses and those of people I’ve been around. Tell me, do men also respond to the perception of wealth in the way women sometimes do? Are you as drawn to the idea of comfort and luxury as I know I can be?

Then why do we unfairly judge Nigerian girls and women, saying that they are all about the money?

Is it bad to want a more comfortable life than what you currently have? Have you ever developed a relationship with anyone, male or female, that you knew had the capacity to facilitate the achievement of your goal?

Most Nigerian females are conditioned to believe that a man is obligated to provide for all their needs, because of the way African societies are structured. If this is a part of our indigenous Nigerian cultures and traditions, then why do we harshly criticize women who just live out these traditions to the fullest?

Why do we label them ‘runs girls’ and do not expect anything of substance from them?
In these same traditional Nigerian cultures, men are allowed to marry more than one wife; it is because of the accept-without-questioning manner with which we embraced foreign religions that men now practice that tradition in secret. Well, sometimes.

However, even though everyone knows it exists, I haven’t seen anyone disregard a man just because he had more than one woman.

If both these practices are borne out of tradition, then why is one celebrated and the other scorned.

Is a woman who desires comfort and takes matters into her own hands by wielding the only power she is aware of a threat to social order?

You tell me.


  1. hmmn...Its been scientifically proven that regardless of who we are we are more favorably disposed [at first] to people who are of higher status [finer, richer...bla bla bla] than in answer yes...we men do get drawn to richer woman...but ofcourse you must factor in the other a man's ego...and such and such...

    what am I even saying sef? I don lusss...*hiss...ooooo need to read the post again

  2. ah yes...the age long question of gender inequality...uhmmm...waters I would rather not wade in thank you!

    Not because I dont support your point but because I feel you on it but because I do so much, I wont quit talkin!

  3. There is nothing wrong in wanting a better life, but it is the manner in which most Nigerian women go about it that makes them have a reputation as nothing more than glorified prostitutes. Using the cultural angle is valid to some extent but I doubt most of our female ancestors where this cheap and evil that their whole dignity as a woman can be easily compromised all for a better life. Also what make a woman think that she will get that better life. I like nice things like most people, but I DO NOT WORSHIP MONEY OR LOOK FOR THAT IN A PERSON.

    I have an aunty married to the famous Urhobo brothers whose business empire spans newspapers,hotel,fisheries etc. She was a smart women from a well off home and the way she was and is being treated just because of money and prestige, I often wonder is it worth it.

    Men having more than one wife or having affairs is not good but its nothing new, and certainly not particular to African culture. In the final analysis I think Nigerian men and women love to play their games that suit both of them.
    Very tragic and is a reflection on Nigerian society as a whole. :-(

    Nice blog by the way!!!!!!!!!

  4. @Chari: All this talk about men's egos makes me wonder whether anyone else but me know that women also have them. It's not a gender issue but rather a human issue.

    @Sankofa Onwuka: I truly appreciate your comments especially about your Aunt: we will be surprised at how many Nigerian women choose to live miserable lives daily all for the want of comfort!! People will always play games I've realised, whether in Politics, Business, Marriage and even friendship.

  5. men hustle for a more comfortable life just like women, (work hard, advanced education, start a business, seek greener pastures etc) it is normal and acceptable in the pursuit of happiness.

    However what the society frowns at are on moral and ethical issues across both sides.(robbery, 419, yahoo yahoo, prostitution, runs, embezzlement, bribe etc) with 'runs girls' the problem is they spin it to look ok. i mean come clean and the society will/might accept u for who u r. why do runs and say to friends, the man is ur boyfriend when clearly he is married and old enough to be your uncle? or say he is ur uncle and u disappear with him for days and during the course of 4 years in uni u have had several several uncles or boyfriends and live a lifestyle that is evidently beyond ur background means! irony is most also have emotional boyfriends along with the other economic boyfriends and some actually are from comfortable homes, why these ones do runs is beyond me...

    for me it's the spin that makes me frown at it. isnt it better to say in d past i did runs to pay my way thru uni or get myself things my family couldnt provide & see me today. BUT weeks after runs, they are broke! what happened to the loot of last weeks runs? and then all over again. i have friends who do runs i dont judge them, nothing like love, physical attraction anymore i understand, it's all abt the benjamins. fat, thin, tall, short, old, young whatever, just pay me the money. i only imagine the mileage down there!!

    as per marriage, it is only in the statutes that marriage is nuclear. in some religions or traditions, men are allowed to marry more than one. who made the law & y? i dont know. but the sad thing is that not so many people in statutory marriages know that there is a punishment for marrying more than one wife, a ground for divorce and indeed the second marriage is void under family law or maybe they (women) know and cant be bothered as far as he still provides for them usually due to a lack of independence and this runs mentality of all i need is a man to provide for me. it's funny how women are fighting for liberation and equality in africa but the man providing for their needs is not a fight for them, it's ok. they are, in a marriage or what have u to support men. the word is SUPPORT (contribute emotionally, financially,spiritually, morally etc) not depend on or slave for. think i've said too much...

  6. Lol @ 'mileage down there'

    Very well articulated Tolu. Well said!!