Thursday, July 8, 2010

My Baby Faced His Own Mortality

My heart is really heavy and I’m trying to control myself as I write this. A friend just lost her son barely 9months after giving birth to him.

I don’t even want to imagine what she’s going through right now; the glimpse of the pain she might be feeling right now is tearing me apart.

I mentioned to you guys about two weeks ago, a difficult period my family had to go through; I said then that I wasn’t prepared to talk about it, but I think I want to now.

You’ve probably heard me talk about my 7 year old nephew, Bade. One of the shining lights of my life.

For about 3weeks my heart broke into all kinds of pieces as I watched Bade suffer in pain. It began as a fever, which we immediately assumed was malaria, and put him on medication.

Nothing changed though, as his temperature continued to soar and he couldn’t keep any food down, throwing up even in the middle of the night. I remember lying awake through the night praying and asking God to heal his body.

We took him to the hospital as soon as we saw that it wasn’t a minor fever like we thought and there they tested him for Typhoid and the usual. They also started administering drugs and much to his agony, giving him all kinds of injections.

Bade STILL wasn’t responding to treatment. He would seem better, but then from nowhere, his temperature would rise again and he kept complaining about a pain in his tummy.

The Doctors and Nurses at the hospital were totally incompetent! One evening, as I watched my sister almost tell the Doctor what he should be doing, the fear that gripped me was REAL. All I could think was, “My Bade’s life is actually in the hand of this DUMB F*#K right now?!”

My sister didn’t wait a second longer, and we immediately moved him to a Children’s Hospital in Lekki called Lifeline.

There we relaxed a little as these were actual Pediatricians’ who seemed to know what they were doing and unlike the Doctors at the other hospital, were not ignoring the constant pain in his tummy that Bade kept moaning about.

He got a bit more stable soon after getting to Lifeline, and we were all grateful for the timely decision my sister had made in moving him.

Then night came, and the pain in Bade’s tummy became unbearable for him. He screamed through the night grasping tightly to his mother’s body saying over and over to her “Mummy save me, Mummy pray for me!!”

My sister called me early in the morning from the hospital weeping uncontrollably as she told me what they had gone through in the night. He had only just been able to go off to sleep a few minutes ago.

I was so confused; I didn’t know what to do. My whole family where we all were in different parts of the world were also shaken and troubled at what was going on. The decision was immediately made to take him to London that same day.

I prayed. We all prayed and took a family Communion together, even though we weren’t physically present with each other.

The Doctors however, advised us against flying him in the condition that he was. We sought a second opinion, and they also said it would be extremely dangerous to have him in the air for 6hours and all the time it would take to get to a Specialist in London.

The Doctors at Lifeline then decided to perform Surgery, as they suspected a ruptured appendix.

That’s the worst thing that could have been told my family at that point. Although no one was saying it out loud, I know what we were all thinking; My Dad died after surgery was performed on him.

We felt the Doctors weren’t too sure, but they took us through all their diagnosis and as Bade kept on screaming, we decided to let them do what they could.

Six ‘o’ clock came, and as I watched them roll Bade away on that gurney, preparing him for Surgery, I don’t think I even have the words to describe how I felt.

I know my Mum, Bade’s parents, my sisters and the family friends who were also there were feeling the same thing at that precise moment.

We prayed again.

Soon Bade was alone in the Operating Theater with the Surgeon and other Doctors. I felt as though my heart was on that Operating table.

However, God gave us Peace.

As I looked at the faces of everyone with me in the room as we waited, I knew that all our hearts were in there, yet, the way we carried on, if you had walked in, you’d never have guessed that our little angel, was currently going through a battle for his life in the next room.

Just about 2hours after, the Surgeon called my sister into the Theater to come see what they found. His appendix was fine, but it was a far more life-threatening situation we were now facing.

Peritonitis. Fluids had leaked from his stomach organs and had accumulated, causing him the acute pain he had been facing and making his tummy swell.

The fever, vomiting and all other symptoms he had been experiencing were also as a result of the Peritonitis.

Fluid leakage all by itself is not so much of an issue, even though it causes tremendous pain; the real issue is that after a while, the fluid gets infected, and trust me, I don’t think I even want to imagine what could have happened to Bade if it had gotten there.

We quickly gave thanks to God for letting the Doctors go into Bade’s body when they did.

All the fluid was drained and the doctors did excellently to stop the disease in its tracks. Soon Bade was all stitched up, and placed in Recovery.

However, I could still feel the tension from my family. My Dad’s operation had also been successful, but he died shortly after due to some complications.

So yet again, we prayed and gave thanks to God for ALL He had done.

Bade is fine now, back to his usual naughty self. He has matured so much in the month that all this happened. I have seen him toughen up in different ways. Well, I’m sure anyone who is confronted with their own Mortality will.

He bears the scars of the Battle as a testimony to what God carried us through.

I take pleasure these days, in just lying in the darkness of my bedroom and listening to him laugh, scream and play. It’s like the sound of heaven to me.

I know what my family and I went through just watching Bade suffer so much. I don’t want to imagine what we could have been going through right now if we had lost him; as much as I hate to think about it, I know that we came pretty close to losing him.

My friend has just lost her only baby boy.

Oh God, You alone know why You allowed this happen. Please Lord, give her husband and her the strength, the Peace, and the Comfort that only You can give at dark times such as these.

You are the Light in the Valley.


  1. Amen. May God comfort your friend's family, losing anyone is always a terrible indescribable experience. Thank God that your nephew is well now, I felt your fear and I am so glad that you trusted God all the time and as usual, God came through!

  2. Wow! This is deep man! Have to consciously keep my self from crying. Thank God for healing mercies in your family. For your friend, I pray that God will give her and her family the strength to bear the loss.Amen

  3. A close friend of mine lost her 3 month old baby and we were there in the hospital praying he would get can a 3 month old have cancer of the brain ? That was the first time I went a baby's burial and I pray it will be the last. It was a really tough time for us last christmas and everyday I look at pictures I have of seyi and he seemed so full of brings tears to my eyes...I pray God strenthens ur friend cos its a hard hard thing to go thru...I dont think anyone recovers

  4. *Sigh* Very very deep Tariere.

  5. Thank God for his mercies. May His name be praised. Its my 1st time on your blog, and I am so impressed...

  6. God is awesome! Thank God for your nephew's life! hes life is definetly a testimony and to your friend may the Almighty comfort and give her peace in her time of mourning. Amen! slash i think your blog is amazing!!!!!!!!