A couple of friends and I were chatting about the Alicia Keyes and Swizz Beats affair.
For the benefit of those who have no clue, Swizz Beats was married to Mashonda Tifrere, a singer/Songwriter who he discovered in 1998. They have a 3 year old son together. They recently split up after reports of an alleged affair between Swizz Beats and singer, Alicia Keyes.
Swizz & Mashonda
Alicia and Swizz Beats have now come out openly with their affair and are even expecting a baby together. The couple is also engaged, and plans to tie the knot later this year.
Now most of the people I was having this conversation with voiced out their contempt and disgust for Alicia Keyes, and the fact that she did not only have an affair with a married guy, but also allowed him leave his wife for her.
About the having an affair with the married guy part, I didn’t say much, except “Let him who has no sin cast the first stone!!”
Well, I said it in my mind sha, otherwise na me dem for stone finish!!
I was more interested in the “allowing him leave his wife for her part”. Let’s open this up a little by extending it also to a guy who has a girlfriend or basically anyone who is committed to another person.
It seemed to my friends as though I was on Alicia Keyes side, but the truth is I’m not on anyone’s side, I just like to understand a situation from the perspectives of all parties involved.
From Mashonda’s perspective, I can only imagine the pain and shame involved with not only knowing your man is seeing someone else, but the fact that he is doing it openly and everyone seems to know about it. Even more painful is Swizz’s lyrics on Drake’s ‘Best I Ever Had’, where he is clearly referring to Alicia when he says:
“Wake up in the morning and my baby cooked me breakfast, A’s wearing nothing on but a necklace…She gave me a party at the Guggenheim…What’s next? The ring? The baby?”
Alicia Keyes did have a birthday party for Swizz beats at the Guggenheim Museum in New York. Mashonda claims the song was made and released while she was still involved with Swizz.
So I feel her pain, which she communicated in a letter to Alicia Keyes, describing how the affair with her husband has hurt her entire family.
From Alicia Keyes perspective on the other hand, hmmmnnn.. It’s hard!
I’m sure every one of us can relate to wanting something so bad that you are willing to go to sometimes, any length, to getting it. When you want like that, you become so focused on getting that thing that it is very easy to become blinded to the pain and anguish you might be causing someone else, as you try to create your own ‘Happiness’.
Alicia Keyes, if we go by all the allegations against her, was only expressing the innate selfishness that is the nature of all human beings. I can only imagine the things she would have told herself to help justify her actions.
“Oh their marriage isn’t working out anyway”, “It’s me he loves, and I love him, we have to be together”, “We’re greeaattt together! That must mean we belong together!!”
Swizz Beats & Alicia Keyes
I doubt that she put a gun to Swizz’s head and said, “You must leave your wife and be with me”, but does she also have a responsibility as a woman, as a human being, as a lover, to say “I know we love each other so much, but leaving your wife would cause her and your kids tremendous pain, so as much as I want to be with you, I don’t think you should”.
Should she have said to him, “You’re a great guy and your place is with your family; as much as I want you, I also want you to do the right thing, which is to remain with your wife”.
If Alicia Keyes had taken any of these two approaches, would that have been more of an expression of her love for Swizz Beats??
Isn’t love more about inspiring the person you love to do the right thing and be a great person, rather than demanding that the person forsake their conscience or responsibility, to satisfy your own Wants?!
I know Swizz Beats is probably looked upon as the bad guy who just saw a better deal and moved on, disregarding the vows he took and his children’s need for a stable home with both parents. I know it’s clear that he simply ‘followed his heart’ and ended his marriage to be with the one he claims to love.
Swizz & Alicia
I doubt that it’s easy for ANY man to take the decision Swizz took to leave his wife for his lover. But as hard as it is to leave, it takes more balls and strength of Character to actually stay.
As I write this, I doff my hat to ALL the men who have loved or had deep passion for any woman outside of their marriage or relationship and had the balls to stick to their original commitment.
I know it’s not easy, but whoever said doing the right thing is.
Your heart may truly be with the other person, but your responsibility is first and foremost to do the right thing, and then let God deal with the rest.
It’s very easy to sit in the comfort of our living rooms and judge people for the choices they make in different situations, but I guess the reality of their choice hits home harder when we ourselves are faced with the same.
Until we meet again, this is Tari Ekiyor, standing in for Jerry Springer..LMAO!!!
7 years ago