Tuesday, January 12, 2010

“Forgive me Father for I have sinned”

Alright it’s Confession Time.

It was about 6:40pm as I rushed into the meeting room where everyone was already seated and actively engaged in our weekly Wednesday Bible Study.

As a Nigerian who is as guilty as the vast majority when it comes to punctuality, I felt no serious guilt about being almost 40minutes late to this serene gathering of bible students.

So as I make my grand entry, I spot an empty row of seats two rows to the back and make my way to take the chair at the extreme end.

Suddenly, just like in one of those bad horror flicks in which an ordinary mortal finds himself being transformed into a grotesque alien-like creature, my hand begins to jerk.

It rises like it has developed a mind of its own and operates independently of my entire body. I watch it and try to will it down, but soon realize that this appendage of mine has become more powerful than I.

My hand exercised its sovereignty within the 4-5 seconds it took me to walk from the beginning of the row to my seat. In the middle of the walk, right about the 2.5th second, my hand finally achieved its objective….to show everyone behind me the expensive, designer bag I was carrying!!

Even as I realized with sincere horror what my traitorous hand was up to, and commanded it to stop, it got even stronger, and lifted the really weighty bag even higher and more in the face of all who didn’t have a choice but to see the indulgently pricey and no-mistakenly-designer(ness) of my bag.

Finally the 4th second arrived and I was seated in my chair. My hand fell to my side innocently as though it hadn’t just put me through yet another Walk of Shame.

I hung my head in despair; how on earth could I dare to look once again in the face of these people who I had just proved to that I had such a low self-esteem and needed my bag to prove to them (or really myself) that I was worth anything??!

What I had just done with that little action was demand for them to “LOOK AT ME I’M A BIG GIRL!! CAN’T YOU SEE MY BAG??!!”

Such a shame!!

But life has got to go on!! What do I do now? Stop going to church or anywhere else at all? OR Stop carrying bags or wearing clothes, shoes or anything else that make a statement of their own?

All I pray is that they didn’t take notice of my absolute foolishness. OMG has anyone else in another place, at another time observed me in such a display of folly?!

HELP!! How on earth can one enjoy the really ‘good things’ without allowing them take over and define who you are??!!

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Victoria Beckam proudly sporting her Birkin


  1. Hmmmm.., Triere, let me begin by saying I love your style of writing, and the openness with which you write.

    One cannot make excuses or try to defend their reason for God's blessings. But what is important here is our Value in life. Whatever we value in life will always give rise to every decision we make in life. This is a write up I am actually working on before getting your blog. Here is just a snippet of it
    Don't get me wrong, values are important because they set the tone for every area of your life. They are the foundation on which you build your life.
    One of the tasks your parents have had is to teach you values that will influence your life. The values they give you can be good values which honour God or bad ones which hinder God’s ability to work in your life.
    It is up to you to accept or reject the values taught to you by your parents or friends or society when such values begins to infringe or eating into our service for God. For instance when we become comfortable and not bat an eyelid when late for God's service.
    Values are important because they determine the stability of our life. The Bible also tells us that our values influence our success. So in essence I am not saying that values are completely wrong. But if you tell me what you value most in your life and I will tell you the direction of your life.
    It is important we channel our values right because every time we make a decision our values will influence the decision we make. We cannot be consistent in our lives, if our mind is torn between two values.
    All believers seriously need to evaluate what is important.., ask ourselves, “What is important to me?”
    Job 34:3-4, “For the ear tests words as the tongue tastes food. Let us discern for ourselves what is right; let us learn together what is good.”
    You and I have to decide what is important in our lives. If we want to discover and fulfil God’s purpose for our lives, we will have to decide what our values are.
    It is important we ask ourselves these questions.
    • What do I value most?
    • What matters most to me?
    • What type of person do I want to become in life?
    The problem with most people is that they do not know what they are supposed to be, and so they seek for security and affirmation in other places except God!

    Proverbs 4:23, Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of your life.

    Grace to you and thanks for copying me in on this.

    Remain Envisioned.

  2. Thanks PT.That helps a lot.

    It's all really confusing though because to a large extent, your environment has the capacity to shape your entire value system.

    Take for instance, Lagos or Nigeria where the collective value System is really about Materialism and 'getting by all means possible (or even some impossible means... except to the Nigerian!!).

    How is it possible to protect oneself from being sucked into the prevalent value system, which as anyone can see, isn't taking us anywhere?!

  3. This fashion of a thing ehn ..... sucks @ ur core till u dont even know who you are anymore ... an occasional blind sight to the shops keeps me grounded and my bank balance breathing (most importantly)

  4. Lol @ Anonymous: Ever wonder why the Fashion Industry is hugely successful?! They prey on our collective insecurities, keep us feeling like we can never measure up to their false ideals and and come up with all kinds of ways to make us BUY into their ideas of who we should be!!

    Unless someone can prove to me that fashion is not one major conspiracy, that's what I think!! LOL