An Insider's take on Nigerian Banking

Alright! I officially hate banks!! Today I sat in a bank for nothing less than 3hours and you wouldn't believe that I actually had to leave without the money!! I wish I could write an interesting and brilliant article about the poor state of Nigeria's financial institutions but frankly, I don't know s**t about that.
What I do know is that it is absolutely nerve wracking to be sitting there for that long to get cash that I'm already spending in my head, and yet because of inefficiency within the bank's system, I don't get it?!
Why the heck would you boast to have an internal international transfer service, yet your tellers do not know how to operate the software(??)?
At the beginning of my long wait, I was all composed and elegant sitting up straight in the chair; Two hours later, and there I was cradling my head on my arms and resting both on my thighs. Then they start to commend me on my, get this, 'outstanding patience'.
Patience?? Little do they know that at a point I was gonna run out the doors to scream my head off!! But as a correct Naija somebody, being complimented on something I clearly know I do not have, I had to start battling to compose myself to be the bank's most patient customer of the year.
Ha! Patience. They should have kept me waiting for 10 more minutes and then they'd have seen the real meaning of 'patient'.