Thursday, June 17, 2010

Embracing My Gayness

I remember walking into my house one evening and suddenly stopping in my tracks as I was confronted with a very strange picture being displayed by two Mallams.

A number of them were sitting together on a bench, gisting and laughing. These two particular Mallams were in a position that I honestly had never seen two Nigerian men displaying in public.

One was leaning his head on the shoulder of the other, and the other one had his hand protectively around him.

They looked very comfortable like that, and curiously enough, none of the other Mallams surrounding them seemed uncomfortable about their closeness.

When I could finally manage to roll my jaw up from the floor and stumble into my house in disbelief, I suddenly had the flash of a thought: “Am I the one with the problem here? Have I been somewhat conditioned to immediately label two men displaying that form of Intimacy as being Gay?”

With a shudder running down my spine, I realized that the answer to my questions were ‘YES’.

Popular Culture has made us believe that any form of Physical or Emotional Intimacy between two people of the same sex, which doesn’t conform to the poor standard that it has set, should be defined as WRONG!!

So we have accepted that Thought, hence my immediately labeling two men who have found a level of comfort and Intimacy between them as being Gay.

It is also possible that they could have been Gay, but I don’t think I have a right to make an assumption on their Sexuality unless they confirm it to me themselves.

Are we selling ourselves short on the quality of relationships we can experience from both the opposite and same sex, because we just can’t take the Sex equation out of our perception of Intimacy?

By the standard we live in today, seeing a Guy and Girl very close must mean they’re sleeping together.

Seeing two girls who love, respect and admire each other, and would look for every opportunity to lift each other up rather than tear down, must mean that they are ‘Carpet Munching’ (lesbians for the clueless..Lol)

It really is sad, because a lot of people are hurting desperately and in need of true, meaningful relationships, but are missing out on that because of the fear of being labeled. And who can blame them?

As for me, if loving my girlfriends and being committed to them evolving into the Women that I know God wants us ALL to be, and also expressing that love to them in words and actions, makes me gay, well then, Gay I am.

Me and my dear friend, Didi Agbahor

After all, if they can say Jesus was gay because the Apostle John was always leaning closely into his side, who am I that they won't say the same about?!


  1. tari......nice one.....

  2. intresting perpective tari, i think people are just too suspicious, born out of their warpped minds. but its not all too far fetched as they say there is no smoke without fire.

  3. Larry Refe-OkemeJune 17, 2010 at 9:13 PM

    how nice,i think lots common day peeps need to see this

  4. Go..Go Tari!! u girl...guess im gay

  5. Nicely said. Keep them coming!